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General Parenting
Need help with "misplaced anger"
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 145966" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>My daughter had many of the same issues as yours and the anger to go with it. There is nothing I could have said or done to convince her I wasn't at fault. It took a lot of therapy and, sadly, a willingness to take a lot of abuse on my part. I still get some misplaced anger but not like when she was younger.</p><p> </p><p>As odd as this sounds, the anger was the easiest thing to deal with. At least I could understand it, even if she was angry at the wrong person. She couldn't be angry at her biomom for several reasons -- biomom was a victim, biomom was on a pedestal, biomom wasn't available. I could be yelled at, screamed at, hit -- I was strong, I was human and I was there. </p><p> </p><p>When she was younger, I would simply restrain her when she became violent. When she got older, I simply told her I would call the police and then did so when necessary. When she hit her mid teens, she raised her hand, I picked up the phone. The hand didn't connect and I didn't dial.</p><p> </p><p>Our little ones are in so much pain. I would give anything if I could have taken all the abuse and neglect mine suffered and put it on myself. She was an innocent. She had a right to be angry. She just needed to learn how to control it. There is no way she could have gone through the anger issues, etc. without a good therapist.</p><p> </p><p>If you haven't read it, I recommend "Parenting the Hurt Child" by Keck. It helped me a lot.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 145966, member: 3626"] My daughter had many of the same issues as yours and the anger to go with it. There is nothing I could have said or done to convince her I wasn't at fault. It took a lot of therapy and, sadly, a willingness to take a lot of abuse on my part. I still get some misplaced anger but not like when she was younger. As odd as this sounds, the anger was the easiest thing to deal with. At least I could understand it, even if she was angry at the wrong person. She couldn't be angry at her biomom for several reasons -- biomom was a victim, biomom was on a pedestal, biomom wasn't available. I could be yelled at, screamed at, hit -- I was strong, I was human and I was there. When she was younger, I would simply restrain her when she became violent. When she got older, I simply told her I would call the police and then did so when necessary. When she hit her mid teens, she raised her hand, I picked up the phone. The hand didn't connect and I didn't dial. Our little ones are in so much pain. I would give anything if I could have taken all the abuse and neglect mine suffered and put it on myself. She was an innocent. She had a right to be angry. She just needed to learn how to control it. There is no way she could have gone through the anger issues, etc. without a good therapist. If you haven't read it, I recommend "Parenting the Hurt Child" by Keck. It helped me a lot. [/QUOTE]
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Need help with "misplaced anger"
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