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need help with vocabulary
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<blockquote data-quote="Liahona" data-source="post: 476309"><p>The vocabulary problem comes in because X is defining his abusive behavior with minimizing words. For example, yelling. The dictionary defines yelling as "To cry out loudly, as in pain, fright, surprise, or enthusiasm." X's defines yelling to include the dictionary definition plus jumping up and down, slamming things, increase in pitch, for hours.</p><p></p><p>Trying to tell difficult child 1 a new definition of yelling is going to take a miracle.These definitions have been abused into him for years. Even when asked what does grumpy mean he can't tell you. I only know what some of the terms mean because of my experience being abused by the same person. And the terminology is changing. I have no idea what grumpy means. It would be easier on him for the adults to redefine their view of what yelling is. But then I'd be forever telling everyone what yelling means. Ugh. I really hate this man/monster. </p><p></p><p>I think Insanecdn is right I'll get more help if I phrase it as getting difficult child 1 help reading people. Maybe a play therapy would help us? Or role playing to define what some of the words mean. </p><p></p><p>Buddy, I don't think the charts would be enough. Like the difference between yelling and screaming. Being angry, frustrated, and grumpy. Getting someones attention and hitting them and a spanking. </p><p></p><p>Daisyface, I agree with you. difficult child 1 isn't to the point where he can use his own words to describe what X does. Given your example, difficult child 1 would just say that X laughs at him. Because that is what X would call it. I need to give him the words to describe the actual physical what is going on and the intensity of what is happening. </p><p></p><p>The problem with the questions about how difficult child 1 feels is that difficult child 1 isn't always based in reality. </p><p></p><p>Sorry, guys my brain is being taken over by my emotions on this one. I remember some of the abuse that happened to me and I'm not quite thinking clearly. Sorry if I'm rambling or repeating myself. </p><p></p><p>I think Insanecdn is right. Now I need to e-mail the therapist and have them work on reading people. Do you have suggestions on which emotions they should work on? I'm getting caught up in memories right now and can't think. I have the ideas of : grumpy, yelling, screaming, mad, angry, frustrated, what it means to question someone, what it means to interrogate someone, rages, meltdowns, empathy, walking on eggshells, transitioning from one idea to the next, provoking, lying, telling the truth, silent name calling</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Liahona, post: 476309"] The vocabulary problem comes in because X is defining his abusive behavior with minimizing words. For example, yelling. The dictionary defines yelling as "To cry out loudly, as in pain, fright, surprise, or enthusiasm." X's defines yelling to include the dictionary definition plus jumping up and down, slamming things, increase in pitch, for hours. Trying to tell difficult child 1 a new definition of yelling is going to take a miracle.These definitions have been abused into him for years. Even when asked what does grumpy mean he can't tell you. I only know what some of the terms mean because of my experience being abused by the same person. And the terminology is changing. I have no idea what grumpy means. It would be easier on him for the adults to redefine their view of what yelling is. But then I'd be forever telling everyone what yelling means. Ugh. I really hate this man/monster. I think Insanecdn is right I'll get more help if I phrase it as getting difficult child 1 help reading people. Maybe a play therapy would help us? Or role playing to define what some of the words mean. Buddy, I don't think the charts would be enough. Like the difference between yelling and screaming. Being angry, frustrated, and grumpy. Getting someones attention and hitting them and a spanking. Daisyface, I agree with you. difficult child 1 isn't to the point where he can use his own words to describe what X does. Given your example, difficult child 1 would just say that X laughs at him. Because that is what X would call it. I need to give him the words to describe the actual physical what is going on and the intensity of what is happening. The problem with the questions about how difficult child 1 feels is that difficult child 1 isn't always based in reality. Sorry, guys my brain is being taken over by my emotions on this one. I remember some of the abuse that happened to me and I'm not quite thinking clearly. Sorry if I'm rambling or repeating myself. I think Insanecdn is right. Now I need to e-mail the therapist and have them work on reading people. Do you have suggestions on which emotions they should work on? I'm getting caught up in memories right now and can't think. I have the ideas of : grumpy, yelling, screaming, mad, angry, frustrated, what it means to question someone, what it means to interrogate someone, rages, meltdowns, empathy, walking on eggshells, transitioning from one idea to the next, provoking, lying, telling the truth, silent name calling [/QUOTE]
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