First - lots of hugs. I have zero experience with this. But from what I have read, actually the closer place sounds better. It sounds like they will do the tube if necessary, but it also sounds as if she isn't totally without nutrition (5 bites isn't much, but it's something - will she drink chicken broth?).
Plus - either place, she will be on her own. You're not walking away, either way. You're stepping up and getting her help.
More hugs... I cannot imagine...
