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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 172034" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I'm totally on the fence on this. He doesn't need you until he wants something. M did this when he was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and TLC. One time he called to ask for permission that I could have given, but wouldn't talk to me, and his dad wasn't home yet. After two tries being vague with me, he actually got a staff member to call and ask if I would ask his dad to call him because there was something really important that M needed an answer to <em>right now</em>. I told her "when pigs fly!" It was a non-family visitor, the principal from his school. It would have been too late by the time his dad got home. But they all acted like I was a monster for not acquiescing, and it didn't serve me well. And, I would have let him see his principal, but in hindsight M probably would have told him I had abused him, so it worked out well I guess.</p><p></p><p>I don't know that there is any right answer. If you say yes and he does something dorky, you're the dimwit who let him go. If you say no, he's got another gripe as to how unreasonable you are. Mostly, though, I would resent that he thinks he can just ignore you for months and then think he can say "jump" and you must say "how high?" </p><p></p><p>Maybe you can talk to the staff, if there is someone you are comfortable with, and explain your dilemma. If I did this for him, I would consider it a great big future bargaining chip, and I'd be sure that everyone knew it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 172034, member: 99"] I'm totally on the fence on this. He doesn't need you until he wants something. M did this when he was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and TLC. One time he called to ask for permission that I could have given, but wouldn't talk to me, and his dad wasn't home yet. After two tries being vague with me, he actually got a staff member to call and ask if I would ask his dad to call him because there was something really important that M needed an answer to [i]right now[/i]. I told her "when pigs fly!" It was a non-family visitor, the principal from his school. It would have been too late by the time his dad got home. But they all acted like I was a monster for not acquiescing, and it didn't serve me well. And, I would have let him see his principal, but in hindsight M probably would have told him I had abused him, so it worked out well I guess. I don't know that there is any right answer. If you say yes and he does something dorky, you're the dimwit who let him go. If you say no, he's got another gripe as to how unreasonable you are. Mostly, though, I would resent that he thinks he can just ignore you for months and then think he can say "jump" and you must say "how high?" Maybe you can talk to the staff, if there is someone you are comfortable with, and explain your dilemma. If I did this for him, I would consider it a great big future bargaining chip, and I'd be sure that everyone knew it. [/QUOTE]
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