So, haven't seen thank you since... I don't remember, sometime before Memorial Day. I've been up and down about it and what he's (not) doing with his life but I think I've made a kind of peace with the way things are for right now and they way I think they're going to go once he hits 18. Very detached, not getting worked up, not asking questions, etc. So he called me today, telling me that X's b-day is this month and he wants to go to a town a couple or three hours away to see her. Now, X is a girl he met in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #3 and fell "in love" with. If I remember correctly, she will be turning 17. She returned home shortly after thank you left Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #3. Definitely she's a difficult child. I believe they've made contact through myspace. He needs my "permission" to go. To be honest, I wish he didn't. It's pretty much a no-win in my book. So many concerns. First off, he says mom knows and is okay with it. My unasked question was, is she out of her everlovin' mind???? But then I thought maybe she doesn't know, so I told thank you I would want to talk to mom first. Of course, how would I know I was actually talking to mom? It could be anyone, you know? And then... what would I say if I really thought it was mom? "Our kids met in Residential Treatment Center (RTC), so obviously thank you's got issues, and based on what he's told me about X, she's a walk in the park in comparison. He has a long history of obessing about girls who are acquaintances as well as inappropriate sexualized behavior, to say nothing of his baseline thought processes which are at best described as bizarre. And by the way, what on *earth* are you thinking? Are you looking that forward to grandparenthood and/or having your daughter stalked by my son??????" I could always say "no" but... to what end? I'll just once again confirm my place as b**** of the world (no, I couldn't care less) and be "ruining his life" (whatever). And honestly? If I say no, I give it at least a 50/50 chance he'll go anyway because he knows it all. No point in making this a reward - because he won't do whatever it is we're "rewarding" and will still expect to go. We're not going to start promoting change with rewards at this late date - they've never worked anyway. On one hand, I wish he were already 18 so this wouldn't be my problem but on the other hand I feel an obligation to warn this mother about what a kettle of worms my son is and that she really should not be promoting a relationship between her daughter and him. I really do feel strongly about that. My gut says to say no (reason being that I don't think it's in anyone's best interest right now, period) and tell him he'll be 18 in 9 months and can do as he pleases then. There will be heck to pay (which is not a problem) and, like I said, a pretty decent chance he'll go anyway (which *is* a problem because he doesn't have a whole lot of common sense and I can just see him getting stuck in Middle-of-Nowhere, IL, calling me to "fix it" - to say nothing of the fact that in spite of detachment I still turn into a knot of nerves when he's AWOL). I could always tell thank you that maybe *she* should visit him? Thoughts? Suggestions? Insights? Thanks!