Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Need School Advise
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 331060" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Whether it's aggravated by medications or not, I would read the hitting himself in the head, as him expressing disapproval of his own behaviour. HE doesn't like raging (what kid does?) and wants to be able to control himself.</p><p></p><p>Never underestimate the degree of self-loathing you can find in some of these kids.</p><p></p><p>It is not good for home to be fun, but the ultimate aim is for him to get educated. So put that first when he is home, worry about the fun aspect second. Because if he learns that learning is fun, he may be able to translate that back to the school environment.</p><p></p><p>Home after school hours IS allowed to be fun. It should be a happy place.</p><p></p><p>With getting him to bed, be wary of stimulating him. We used to find we needed to begin the calm-down phase for difficult child 3, at about 4 pm. Certain computer games had to be banned because even though they were calming for others, they hyped up difficult child 3. So he was permitted to play them until 4 pm on weekdays and Sunday, 5 pm on Friday and Saturday.</p><p></p><p>We also found that the chase and struggle to get him to go to bed could quickly become a diverting game, giving him our attention.</p><p></p><p>What helped, was US getting ready for bed. When he saw he was about to lose his audience anyway, he became more cooperative about going to bed. It doesn't matter if it's hours before your bedtime; an early night won't hurt you for a change.</p><p></p><p>Getting an evening routine happening can help. Draw up a bedtime routine but base it on what is already in place, even loosely. Begin it from getting home from school. I suspect having a strict routine may help settle him a bit more.</p><p></p><p>A draft routine - </p><p></p><p>3 pm - Arrive home from school. Have a snack. Take lunchbox out of bag and put it on the kitchen bench.</p><p></p><p>3.30 pm - play games.</p><p></p><p>4 pm - certain games must stop. Other games may continue until 5 pm.</p><p></p><p>5 pm - any friends visiting, it's time to go home now.</p><p>5 pm tp 5.30 pm - do chores.</p><p></p><p>5.30 pm - have a bath.</p><p></p><p>6 pm - have dinner. </p><p></p><p>7 pm - clean teeth. Read a book with Daddy (snuggled in bed or on the couch).</p><p></p><p>7.30 pm - get into bed. Reading is permitted for half an hour.</p><p></p><p>8 pm - lights out.</p><p></p><p>Clearly you need to modify this to your own lifestyle, but whatever you use, write it down, stick it up on the wall and stick to it. A version of this method is to laminate it and get him to tick the box when he is at each stage.</p><p></p><p>You can also do this in reverse to get him ready in the mornings.</p><p></p><p>They may seem to be coping, but something like this can help it lock in place.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 331060, member: 1991"] Whether it's aggravated by medications or not, I would read the hitting himself in the head, as him expressing disapproval of his own behaviour. HE doesn't like raging (what kid does?) and wants to be able to control himself. Never underestimate the degree of self-loathing you can find in some of these kids. It is not good for home to be fun, but the ultimate aim is for him to get educated. So put that first when he is home, worry about the fun aspect second. Because if he learns that learning is fun, he may be able to translate that back to the school environment. Home after school hours IS allowed to be fun. It should be a happy place. With getting him to bed, be wary of stimulating him. We used to find we needed to begin the calm-down phase for difficult child 3, at about 4 pm. Certain computer games had to be banned because even though they were calming for others, they hyped up difficult child 3. So he was permitted to play them until 4 pm on weekdays and Sunday, 5 pm on Friday and Saturday. We also found that the chase and struggle to get him to go to bed could quickly become a diverting game, giving him our attention. What helped, was US getting ready for bed. When he saw he was about to lose his audience anyway, he became more cooperative about going to bed. It doesn't matter if it's hours before your bedtime; an early night won't hurt you for a change. Getting an evening routine happening can help. Draw up a bedtime routine but base it on what is already in place, even loosely. Begin it from getting home from school. I suspect having a strict routine may help settle him a bit more. A draft routine - 3 pm - Arrive home from school. Have a snack. Take lunchbox out of bag and put it on the kitchen bench. 3.30 pm - play games. 4 pm - certain games must stop. Other games may continue until 5 pm. 5 pm - any friends visiting, it's time to go home now. 5 pm tp 5.30 pm - do chores. 5.30 pm - have a bath. 6 pm - have dinner. 7 pm - clean teeth. Read a book with Daddy (snuggled in bed or on the couch). 7.30 pm - get into bed. Reading is permitted for half an hour. 8 pm - lights out. Clearly you need to modify this to your own lifestyle, but whatever you use, write it down, stick it up on the wall and stick to it. A version of this method is to laminate it and get him to tick the box when he is at each stage. You can also do this in reverse to get him ready in the mornings. They may seem to be coping, but something like this can help it lock in place. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Need School Advise
Top