difficult child currently has an IEP in place, and is in a mainstream classroom. He wants to be the class clown, and is often disruptive. Because we haven't had the opportunity (yet) to have him properly evaluated, we're having trouble figuring out what to do with him as far as punishments/reward systems go. Nothing really seems to work with him. He's in the 5th grade, and was diagnosed with ADHD and "possibly" ODD - although they won't officially diagnose him until he's been evaluated (which is in the works). Anyway, I got a note in difficult child's planner from his teacher. It reads: "difficult child is being very silly and trying to make everyone laugh. He stuck erasers in his mouth and has been off task for the majority of the day. Can you suggest a consequence that can be used? Current consequences aren't having the same effect." So, I sent her the following email: "I saw your note in difficult child's planner ... this is part of the reason why I wanted to have a conference with you guys. We're at a loss at home with him - difficult child has been trying everything he can to get attention - including being disruptive. (He does this at home too). The consequences that we use at home; time outs, grounding, losing things - aren't working here either. I am frustrated because I feel like difficult child is being pushed ahead into 6th grade, although his work and behavior is not of a 6th grade student. I know that the whole "no student left behind" thing really is coming into play here, but I think that it's time to have difficult child re-evaluated to determine if he should be a mainstream student. It is blantantly obvious to me that he is not a student that should be pushed ahead, as he has consistantly had marks on his report cards that he is below state standards for reading and writing. His work is poor, his homework is neglected, and his behavior is really really holding him back - he is suffering now and I can only imagine how much harder it's going to be if he goes into the 6th grade. Anyway, please let me know when we can have a conference next week. difficult child's representative from the Harbor will be there also and it'll be a good opportunity for us to all get on the same page." _____________________________________ difficult child's teacher basically blows off my questions in email, but when I request a conference, we can somewhat get things on the table. This is the first time that I'm really pushing to have him re-evaluated by the school to determine if he should be placed back into ESE classes and not be mainstreamed. He went from being an A&B student (1st grade) to getting consistent C's on every report card and I get letters from the school board every summer that difficult child is below state standards in at least two areas (mostly reading and writing, but sometimes math has shown up as a problem for him). The school has not done any official testing on him since he went into kindergarten. He was mainstreamed in the 2nd grade and that's when we started having problems with school performance. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to put him into the ESE classes just so that his grades will improve. I want to have him back in the classes because it's a smaller classroom, they cater to his issues, and he focuses on the work much better. I would much rather him be in the ESE classes and be at the state's minimum levels, than push him ahead in mainstream classes and see him get so frustrated that he drops out when he's older. Anyway, back to the teacher ... I've been requesting a conference with her for about a month now. I'm wondering if I should call the school's principal to get her involved because this is obviously a big issue for me and I don't feel like the teacher wants to address it. School is almost over and I think they don't want to deal with him anymore since he's "technically" graduating from elementary to middle school next year - they want him to be someone else's problem. How do I explain to her that consequences don't work with him? Just about all we can do at home to avoid an explosion is send him to his room to calm down. I'm currently reading the Explosive Child, but I'm only about 1/3 of the way through it. So really, I don't even know what's going to work for us at home - let alone what will work for him at school. I feel like she's not taking the time to get involved and figure out solutions on her own - she's always asking me what to do, and I rarely have the answers. I need some good advice - and if I'm in the wrong, please call me on it, I can handle it!