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General Parenting
Need some advice for dealing with teachers ...
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 263849" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Do you have set times throughout the day that all your attention is just for him? I see you have a one year old also? He must keep you very busy and even though you know you are giving your difficult child individual attention, he may only be seeing the time you spend caring for the toddler. Kids mistake the extra direct care babies and toddlers need as us loving the baby/toddler more and not wanting to spend time with them.</p><p> </p><p>I would suggest having a few set times throughout the day that difficult child gets your attention. Times that he knows is for him. Kids that age like jokes. Get a joke book and ask him to read them to you. Do you both ride bikes? Is it possible to go on a bike ride while someone else watches the one year old?</p><p> </p><p>Maybe if he is spending his time thinking about his time with you and what you both will be doing, he will ease up on the attention getting antics at school? (maybe not, but worth a try?)</p><p> </p><p>I almost hate this time of the year. It seems so late to accomplish anything if there is a school issue. Feels like the schools just drop the ball on everyone - we will wait until next Fall - maybe the child will improve on his/her own over the summer. Yeah right - you just lost more time to help.</p><p> </p><p>Most of our kids have a hard time connecting consequences with actions. I know I have a hard time figuring out how to use consequences. Sometimes discipline is faster for us than to actually work with the child. Having patience is the best key. Trying to explain things without sounding judgemental goes a long way but that also takes time and energy and adults would rather just shut the child down with a punishment.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you find something that will help. I think the teacher just needs to follow him around and continually take these things away from him. She doesn't need to be mean about it, just a, "difficult child, That is not what you do with those, please give those to me." He doesn't understand the total concept of how he is acting - he is trying to fit in - but maybe he can soon get the hint that certain behaviors will bring an instant visit from the teacher.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 263849, member: 5096"] Do you have set times throughout the day that all your attention is just for him? I see you have a one year old also? He must keep you very busy and even though you know you are giving your difficult child individual attention, he may only be seeing the time you spend caring for the toddler. Kids mistake the extra direct care babies and toddlers need as us loving the baby/toddler more and not wanting to spend time with them. I would suggest having a few set times throughout the day that difficult child gets your attention. Times that he knows is for him. Kids that age like jokes. Get a joke book and ask him to read them to you. Do you both ride bikes? Is it possible to go on a bike ride while someone else watches the one year old? Maybe if he is spending his time thinking about his time with you and what you both will be doing, he will ease up on the attention getting antics at school? (maybe not, but worth a try?) I almost hate this time of the year. It seems so late to accomplish anything if there is a school issue. Feels like the schools just drop the ball on everyone - we will wait until next Fall - maybe the child will improve on his/her own over the summer. Yeah right - you just lost more time to help. Most of our kids have a hard time connecting consequences with actions. I know I have a hard time figuring out how to use consequences. Sometimes discipline is faster for us than to actually work with the child. Having patience is the best key. Trying to explain things without sounding judgemental goes a long way but that also takes time and energy and adults would rather just shut the child down with a punishment. I hope you find something that will help. I think the teacher just needs to follow him around and continually take these things away from him. She doesn't need to be mean about it, just a, "difficult child, That is not what you do with those, please give those to me." He doesn't understand the total concept of how he is acting - he is trying to fit in - but maybe he can soon get the hint that certain behaviors will bring an instant visit from the teacher. [/QUOTE]
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