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General Parenting
Need some advice for dealing with teachers ...
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<blockquote data-quote="Kjs" data-source="post: 263942"><p>I had the same exact problem. I was told difficult child was the class clown and HE had the attention of the class and the teachers could not teach. After Many, many tirals of reward/punishment and horrible outcomes we found one that worked. I swear by it and wish I would of used it long, long ago.</p><p> </p><p>What we found was when he was class clown he was in control. When he was not in control he was anxious, frustrated and angry. And he was not shy to show this.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn't open up to many staff members. Trust issue from past years. (and I don't blame him. he went through heck with some staff members. Awful.) Finally had a Special Education program director that liked him. She got through to him.</p><p> </p><p>He has a "cool off pass". I swear by this. It has worked wonders. Unbelievable outcome. Teachers and difficult child both have this. When HE feels he is losing control, or becoming angry/frustrated he initiates the pass. If the teacher feels he is in need of a "time out" the teacher will call for an escort. he has several places to go. Three different staff members that he chose (ones he trusts). They are not all available at times so he has several. he goes there and they can talk it out. Or he may need "alone" time. Just sit alone. He is always supervised. And this is a 10-20 minute break to regroup and rejoin the class. He has tried to milk it inot an hour or more. They got wise to that and put an end to it.</p><p> </p><p>We have tried so many rewards/consequences that didn't work and had horrible effects/outcomes. Due to his reputation in previous years (almost always) he was blamed, punished before he ever did anything. That is just not allowed. In his mind then he said he may as well misbehave since he is being punished anyway. My point in the IEP meeting was when he DOES try to behave and be good he gets punished anyway. I would watch for mood/behaviors when trying new rewards/consequences.</p><p> </p><p>This has worked so well for us. Just wanted to share our experience. I hope you find something that works for you. Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kjs, post: 263942"] I had the same exact problem. I was told difficult child was the class clown and HE had the attention of the class and the teachers could not teach. After Many, many tirals of reward/punishment and horrible outcomes we found one that worked. I swear by it and wish I would of used it long, long ago. What we found was when he was class clown he was in control. When he was not in control he was anxious, frustrated and angry. And he was not shy to show this. He doesn't open up to many staff members. Trust issue from past years. (and I don't blame him. he went through heck with some staff members. Awful.) Finally had a Special Education program director that liked him. She got through to him. He has a "cool off pass". I swear by this. It has worked wonders. Unbelievable outcome. Teachers and difficult child both have this. When HE feels he is losing control, or becoming angry/frustrated he initiates the pass. If the teacher feels he is in need of a "time out" the teacher will call for an escort. he has several places to go. Three different staff members that he chose (ones he trusts). They are not all available at times so he has several. he goes there and they can talk it out. Or he may need "alone" time. Just sit alone. He is always supervised. And this is a 10-20 minute break to regroup and rejoin the class. He has tried to milk it inot an hour or more. They got wise to that and put an end to it. We have tried so many rewards/consequences that didn't work and had horrible effects/outcomes. Due to his reputation in previous years (almost always) he was blamed, punished before he ever did anything. That is just not allowed. In his mind then he said he may as well misbehave since he is being punished anyway. My point in the IEP meeting was when he DOES try to behave and be good he gets punished anyway. I would watch for mood/behaviors when trying new rewards/consequences. This has worked so well for us. Just wanted to share our experience. I hope you find something that works for you. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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