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need some reassurance
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 663255" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I agree 100 percent with Insane. Your love is not in doubt. That does not mean that you should volunteer to be hurt. Your peace of mind and contentment are the most important thing. Love is without conditions. You can love your daughter without doing one thing that goes out of your comfort zone.</p><p></p><p>Both parties in a relationship have responsibilities, not just the parent. She is responsible for how her conduct affects others. Just like every other person. She knows very well what she does. </p><p></p><p>It is not about forgiveness. You can forgive her but still know her and know she will likely hurt you. That is a reality. And you are the one who is responsible for protecting you. You can make amends in your heart, tell her you love her and go about doing just exactly what you want to do for you. Making amends does not mean sacrificing yourself and your welfare.</p><p></p><p>I think you may be holding onto your anger because you feel it protects you. You may feel that if you are no longer angry, you will have to be around her and be hurt by her. That is not true. You can let go of your anger but still know that you cannot be around her except in a very limited way.</p><p></p><p>I think you may be too hard on yourself. I think you may take on responsibilities which are not yours to bear. You are only responsible for you. She, for her. There are no shoulds here. Stop listening to everybody. If you feel better, you do not have to justify yourself to anybody. Take care of yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 663255, member: 18958"] I agree 100 percent with Insane. Your love is not in doubt. That does not mean that you should volunteer to be hurt. Your peace of mind and contentment are the most important thing. Love is without conditions. You can love your daughter without doing one thing that goes out of your comfort zone. Both parties in a relationship have responsibilities, not just the parent. She is responsible for how her conduct affects others. Just like every other person. She knows very well what she does. It is not about forgiveness. You can forgive her but still know her and know she will likely hurt you. That is a reality. And you are the one who is responsible for protecting you. You can make amends in your heart, tell her you love her and go about doing just exactly what you want to do for you. Making amends does not mean sacrificing yourself and your welfare. I think you may be holding onto your anger because you feel it protects you. You may feel that if you are no longer angry, you will have to be around her and be hurt by her. That is not true. You can let go of your anger but still know that you cannot be around her except in a very limited way. I think you may be too hard on yourself. I think you may take on responsibilities which are not yours to bear. You are only responsible for you. She, for her. There are no shoulds here. Stop listening to everybody. If you feel better, you do not have to justify yourself to anybody. Take care of yourself. [/QUOTE]
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