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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 490034" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I'm with Daisy... can you hire a personal support person (here it is 12 dollars an hour, you can negotiate a daily rate etc....) and let husband know that you are NOT going on the trip, period if this can't be worked out. He needs to take his turn monitoring and taking difficult child back. </p><p></p><p>Is it totally off the table not to change the vacation? WHY? (asks the not married, I get to pick what I do girl, so I get it that this may be a stupid question)</p><p></p><p>Can you negotiate an every other year beach/Disney (with support) vacation schedule. Sounds like husband is in denial of what is really going on here, age does not make the disability go away.</p><p></p><p>What do you do to prepare and schedule other events.? I love the idea of using the maps... (are there disney apps to get around the parks?) and since you can sign up to ride at a certain time now (right? that is how it is now....) it would be great to make a visual schedule to stick to for all of them.... Include when to buy things and when to eat. Would any of that help him? No matter what it is just so unfair in my eyes that you are the fall guy. I imagine part of that is you do it best, but part of it is that you allow it, right? What would happen if you refused? (I dont imagine that would be an easy thing to do, especially since difficult child could suffer for what the adults can't work out and then you just suck it up and fix it....) </p><p></p><p>What kind of melt-down plan and tools does difficult child have? Does anything work for him? We have things that work sometimes and other times, just have to ride it out and do what you do, leave.... usually saying we are going to leave turns mine around though. Probably an obvious you already tried this question but... Can you practice different scenarios for when to use those tool under which cirucmstances etc? It is just so hard in those kinds of overwhelming places. Does he respond to comic strip social stories where you can go thru the days and expectations etc.... if it is done for all of them then maybe he will not reject it because it is not targeted ...</p><p></p><p>"Our trip to Disney"</p><p>Fun things we can do....</p><p>etc... include we will have a schedule, we will have rules and we will get rewards for following the schedule and rules. </p><p></p><p>If we need a break this is what we do. If we dont like something, this is how we will ask.... etc...</p><p></p><p>I still like your idea of not even doing it...go to the beach. But the compromise that was suggested, they go to the parks you guys hang out at the pools is nice, except if my son knew everyone was going to Disney then that might not go over well. He would feel so left out. But maybe a one chance rule, if he can follow the family rules and schedule then he can go again but if not then it is pool, chill-out vacation instead.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 490034, member: 12886"] I'm with Daisy... can you hire a personal support person (here it is 12 dollars an hour, you can negotiate a daily rate etc....) and let husband know that you are NOT going on the trip, period if this can't be worked out. He needs to take his turn monitoring and taking difficult child back. Is it totally off the table not to change the vacation? WHY? (asks the not married, I get to pick what I do girl, so I get it that this may be a stupid question) Can you negotiate an every other year beach/Disney (with support) vacation schedule. Sounds like husband is in denial of what is really going on here, age does not make the disability go away. What do you do to prepare and schedule other events.? I love the idea of using the maps... (are there disney apps to get around the parks?) and since you can sign up to ride at a certain time now (right? that is how it is now....) it would be great to make a visual schedule to stick to for all of them.... Include when to buy things and when to eat. Would any of that help him? No matter what it is just so unfair in my eyes that you are the fall guy. I imagine part of that is you do it best, but part of it is that you allow it, right? What would happen if you refused? (I dont imagine that would be an easy thing to do, especially since difficult child could suffer for what the adults can't work out and then you just suck it up and fix it....) What kind of melt-down plan and tools does difficult child have? Does anything work for him? We have things that work sometimes and other times, just have to ride it out and do what you do, leave.... usually saying we are going to leave turns mine around though. Probably an obvious you already tried this question but... Can you practice different scenarios for when to use those tool under which cirucmstances etc? It is just so hard in those kinds of overwhelming places. Does he respond to comic strip social stories where you can go thru the days and expectations etc.... if it is done for all of them then maybe he will not reject it because it is not targeted ... "Our trip to Disney" Fun things we can do.... etc... include we will have a schedule, we will have rules and we will get rewards for following the schedule and rules. If we need a break this is what we do. If we dont like something, this is how we will ask.... etc... I still like your idea of not even doing it...go to the beach. But the compromise that was suggested, they go to the parks you guys hang out at the pools is nice, except if my son knew everyone was going to Disney then that might not go over well. He would feel so left out. But maybe a one chance rule, if he can follow the family rules and schedule then he can go again but if not then it is pool, chill-out vacation instead. [/QUOTE]
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