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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 490242" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Why not take a week and go somewhere while husband is with the kids or he has his parents or yours come to help? If you have a hobby like knitting or cross stitch or something, there are a LOT of weekend and week long retreats where you go do your thing and they have classes and projects lined up and usually a masseuse is available. At least take a weekend a couple of times a year if at all possible. Otherwise vacation is just a week of double headaches for a stay at home mom. You have all the problems and extra ones and fewer than your usual resources to deal with them!</p><p></p><p>Tell dht hat you don't CARE if difficult child wants you, HE must take care of difficult child when he tantrums or wanders off. This is YOUR year to enjoy the trip. Then comes the hard part - walking away when the fit starts and NOT handling it. Let husband handle it however he can as long as husband has the fallout from mistakes also. YOU go off in the night and do what you want with easy child or by yourself. Give husband some of what you have learned to dread about vacations. He won't like it, but he can't say it isn't fair.</p><p></p><p>ANd just because difficult child is upset that you won't do things iwth him that you would do with easy child is NO reason to totally not do those things. difficult child has to take some responsibility for the fact that his actions/choices make it very much not fun to do thngs with him. The consequence for having tantrums is that no one wants to do things with you. It is the logical and natural consequence.</p><p></p><p>the consequence for husband insisting that you go on this trip is that HE gets to do all the difficult child stuff. Just because it upsets difficult child that you don't do it does NOT mean that you cannot have a vacation every few years that YOU get to enjoy too. I am sorry this trip is not fun for you. I would probably send them ALL without me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 490242, member: 1233"] Why not take a week and go somewhere while husband is with the kids or he has his parents or yours come to help? If you have a hobby like knitting or cross stitch or something, there are a LOT of weekend and week long retreats where you go do your thing and they have classes and projects lined up and usually a masseuse is available. At least take a weekend a couple of times a year if at all possible. Otherwise vacation is just a week of double headaches for a stay at home mom. You have all the problems and extra ones and fewer than your usual resources to deal with them! Tell dht hat you don't CARE if difficult child wants you, HE must take care of difficult child when he tantrums or wanders off. This is YOUR year to enjoy the trip. Then comes the hard part - walking away when the fit starts and NOT handling it. Let husband handle it however he can as long as husband has the fallout from mistakes also. YOU go off in the night and do what you want with easy child or by yourself. Give husband some of what you have learned to dread about vacations. He won't like it, but he can't say it isn't fair. ANd just because difficult child is upset that you won't do things iwth him that you would do with easy child is NO reason to totally not do those things. difficult child has to take some responsibility for the fact that his actions/choices make it very much not fun to do thngs with him. The consequence for having tantrums is that no one wants to do things with you. It is the logical and natural consequence. the consequence for husband insisting that you go on this trip is that HE gets to do all the difficult child stuff. Just because it upsets difficult child that you don't do it does NOT mean that you cannot have a vacation every few years that YOU get to enjoy too. I am sorry this trip is not fun for you. I would probably send them ALL without me. [/QUOTE]
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