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General Parenting
Need ssome advice (think I've handled it all wrong)
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<blockquote data-quote="hamlet" data-source="post: 445005" data-attributes="member: 11970"><p>I think I understand what you are saying, and that it's going to be next to impossible and not fruitful to drag a screaming, crying, barely able to breathe difficult child into a store for a "lesson" in the consequences of shoplifting. I don't think he will be capable of hearing/comprehending what is going on if he is in a full-out panic attack. I know if my difficult child were in that state I would not be able to get him into the store without physically forcing him, and I don't think that would be very effective in the short or the long term.</p><p></p><p>I suppose if it were a very understanding store manager, that person might be willing to meet you in the parking lot and have a chat with difficult child by the car. If the threat is lessened, difficult child might be willing to then go into the store to take the items back or pay for them.</p><p></p><p>You may have to accept that the only consequence available to you is one that is applied at home. Don't let him go to the store any more. Return or pay for the items yourself. Ask a friendly police officer, store manager, pastor or counselor to discuss the ramifications of shoplifting with difficult child in no uncertain terms. Apply any other consequence you think might help to get the message across, such as periodic searches of his hiding places or removal of the ability to hide stash.</p><p></p><p>Are you concerned at all that he might actually use the cigarette lighters? That thought crossed my mind...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hamlet, post: 445005, member: 11970"] I think I understand what you are saying, and that it's going to be next to impossible and not fruitful to drag a screaming, crying, barely able to breathe difficult child into a store for a "lesson" in the consequences of shoplifting. I don't think he will be capable of hearing/comprehending what is going on if he is in a full-out panic attack. I know if my difficult child were in that state I would not be able to get him into the store without physically forcing him, and I don't think that would be very effective in the short or the long term. I suppose if it were a very understanding store manager, that person might be willing to meet you in the parking lot and have a chat with difficult child by the car. If the threat is lessened, difficult child might be willing to then go into the store to take the items back or pay for them. You may have to accept that the only consequence available to you is one that is applied at home. Don't let him go to the store any more. Return or pay for the items yourself. Ask a friendly police officer, store manager, pastor or counselor to discuss the ramifications of shoplifting with difficult child in no uncertain terms. Apply any other consequence you think might help to get the message across, such as periodic searches of his hiding places or removal of the ability to hide stash. Are you concerned at all that he might actually use the cigarette lighters? That thought crossed my mind... [/QUOTE]
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Need ssome advice (think I've handled it all wrong)
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