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Need support: it is hitting me
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 242267" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Compassion - a gentle hug to you. Everywoman is absolutely right. There seem to be phases as our kids adjust to being placed. I think my kid did it in different order - it's been almost 9 years and I thankfully don't remember the order exactly - but I think he did the bargaining first (I'll behave, Mom, I'll follow the rules, I'll do whatever you say) and then moved on to the crying/sobbing on the phone about how awful it was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC), how he missed us so much, how they were being so mean to him, etc. That was the hardest part, and this board literally carried me through that stage. I just so wanted to rescue him but... I couldn't. You have to remind yourself that you've made a committment to difficult child's treatment even if she hasn't yet. It doesn't matter what she promises or what she says, it will *not* be different at home if you bring her back prematurely.</p><p> </p><p>Stay in close contact with staff - call as often as you need to. I suspect you'll get a slightly different story from them about how difficult child is coping. I used to call staff near-hysterical after those tearful phone calls from difficult child, only to find out that he was happily playing in the main room on the unit.</p><p> </p><p>It takes a while to get used to the peace - and you have been so totally invested in your difficult child's recovery, I would imagine it's quite a shock to you right now. Give yourself time. Try not to feel guilty about smiling or laughing or enjoying something (took me about 6 months to get past that stage <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> ). </p><p> </p><p>We're here always to listen, support, whatever we can do. It's just not an easy thing to go through. Many gentle hugs to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 242267, member: 8"] Compassion - a gentle hug to you. Everywoman is absolutely right. There seem to be phases as our kids adjust to being placed. I think my kid did it in different order - it's been almost 9 years and I thankfully don't remember the order exactly - but I think he did the bargaining first (I'll behave, Mom, I'll follow the rules, I'll do whatever you say) and then moved on to the crying/sobbing on the phone about how awful it was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC), how he missed us so much, how they were being so mean to him, etc. That was the hardest part, and this board literally carried me through that stage. I just so wanted to rescue him but... I couldn't. You have to remind yourself that you've made a committment to difficult child's treatment even if she hasn't yet. It doesn't matter what she promises or what she says, it will *not* be different at home if you bring her back prematurely. Stay in close contact with staff - call as often as you need to. I suspect you'll get a slightly different story from them about how difficult child is coping. I used to call staff near-hysterical after those tearful phone calls from difficult child, only to find out that he was happily playing in the main room on the unit. It takes a while to get used to the peace - and you have been so totally invested in your difficult child's recovery, I would imagine it's quite a shock to you right now. Give yourself time. Try not to feel guilty about smiling or laughing or enjoying something (took me about 6 months to get past that stage ;) ). We're here always to listen, support, whatever we can do. It's just not an easy thing to go through. Many gentle hugs to you. [/QUOTE]
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