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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 171702" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Well there is one point of view no one has brought up. And I'll bring it up because it really was a revelation and a chance for me to begin healing when I doubted myself a lot. </p><p> </p><p>I asked my therapist - Do you think I've done everything I could possibly do to help my kid? Is there something else? Was it me? </p><p> </p><p>And my therapist replied - I've never in my life met a mother who went to the lengths you have gone through to help their son/child. If there is something else - I don't know what it would be. </p><p> </p><p>(then a long silence between us) </p><p> </p><p>Then he said - "Have you ever considered where he would be today if you hadn't done any of the things you did?" </p><p> </p><p>-(no, I really hadn't) Instead of giving myself () much credit for being a good parent and doing what I KNEW I could do, and reading, and looking and searching and listening to the "professionals" - I instead kept saying IT MUST BE ME. </p><p> </p><p>And when I thought about where my son would be if I had done NOTHING? </p><p> </p><p>I knew he would be either in prison for life, or dead. </p><p> </p><p>So when I second guess that I didn't do things right - I tell myself I may not have done it all right - but what I did was more than nothing - and quite a lot considering I had NEVER dealt with a child like a difficult child. </p><p> </p><p>It's okay to allow yourself to feel good about what you did. Because you did at the time what you thought was the best. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs - strenght - looking ahead. </p><p> </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 171702, member: 4964"] Well there is one point of view no one has brought up. And I'll bring it up because it really was a revelation and a chance for me to begin healing when I doubted myself a lot. I asked my therapist - Do you think I've done everything I could possibly do to help my kid? Is there something else? Was it me? And my therapist replied - I've never in my life met a mother who went to the lengths you have gone through to help their son/child. If there is something else - I don't know what it would be. (then a long silence between us) Then he said - "Have you ever considered where he would be today if you hadn't done any of the things you did?" -(no, I really hadn't) Instead of giving myself () much credit for being a good parent and doing what I KNEW I could do, and reading, and looking and searching and listening to the "professionals" - I instead kept saying IT MUST BE ME. And when I thought about where my son would be if I had done NOTHING? I knew he would be either in prison for life, or dead. So when I second guess that I didn't do things right - I tell myself I may not have done it all right - but what I did was more than nothing - and quite a lot considering I had NEVER dealt with a child like a difficult child. It's okay to allow yourself to feel good about what you did. Because you did at the time what you thought was the best. Hugs - strenght - looking ahead. Star [/QUOTE]
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