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Need to pick some brains please
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 518366" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>What does Boogerman love? What can he NOT live without? Every time he leaves the bathroom clean he earns X amt of Favorite Item (FI). Every time he leaves urine on the seat he loses FI for x amt of time. On the floor? Lose FI for Y amt of time. He MUST clean up or he loses FI for 2X or 2Y amt of time. Cleaning up after being caught with NO fight, delay or backtalk earns him a cleaning reward - NOT FI but 2nd FI time. </p><p></p><p>If you know he loved video games and is just DYING to get game Q or Z, go and buy it. He gets 2 hours to play the day you buy it. Then YOU take custody and he must earn ALL time with it via bathroom manners.</p><p></p><p>Consider writing down the steps for urinating and supervising him until he clearly knows the steps. A hassle and embarrassing for him, but he can avoid it by not going everywhere. So it is his CHOICE to be supervised or not, not you imposing. No going to ANYONE"s house or whatever stores, places he likes until he reliably uses appropriate bathroom manners. ESPECIALLY make sure he knows he will lose the favorite non-home place until that happens if that is at all possible.</p><p></p><p>Don't jump in with ANY of these steps until you have it all figured out in a plan and you have it written down so you don't forget and you THINK about the plan. Think of the plan like the boat that will carry you over the ocean of pee he has left on the floor over all these years. You sure don't want to capsize in that ocean, so you have to make sure to plug ALL the holes and leaks in the boat/plan before you start the journey. You are better off not trying to get away from the problem than to just jump in.</p><p></p><p>Don't just use one of these things. You have probably done rewards, etc... for a long time with no results. This time you must be diabolical and really get to what he loves and what he abhors and use those against him. Bigtime use them against him and ignore his whines and tantrums over not having/going/doing what he loves until he does what he needs to do. I am guessing he doesn't go many places with peers because they don't want to spend time wth a kid who smells. if they haven't started this, they will soon, esp the girls.</p><p></p><p>First though, has he been completely evaluated by a urologist? there may be some medical issue that contributes tot his that is urinary rather than odd/adhd/alphasoup issues. </p><p></p><p>on the other hand, it may just be that it is fun to watch it spray everywhere. In that case try a toilet game. Sounds dumb, but have hm sink the cheerios. Or draw targets on toilet paper and have him try to hit them. I think you can buy them for little kids. I wish you lived in Japan because they came out with toilet video games for guys because guys are nasty slobs in public bathrooms (in my coed college dorm the guys would see how far back they could stand and hit the urinal or how long they could hit the ceiling, etc... ). </p><p></p><p>I don't understand it, but most guys go through a stage or twelve where they want to do strange things with pee, like pee on a bee or write in snow. I saw a blurb on a website about a guy who asked his girlfriend to marry him by writing "will you marry me" in the snow - with pee. EEEEEUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWWW. I didn't get to whether she said yes or not, mostly because I don't want to think about a woman who would say yes to that!</p><p></p><p>I would NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT have hm pee outside. Yes, it solves the cleanup issues. But if ANYONE, esp a little girl, sees him it could result in major problems. He probably won't discriminate between peeing at home behind a bush and at school or the ball field or park with people around. Then someone will call the police and he could actually end up on the sex offender registry and YOU could be in trouble for making him pee outside. CPS could also become involved if he told a teacher or other adult that you wouldn't let him use the bathroom. It would be VERY serious and you probably would be in HUGE trouble. It just isn't worth it. </p><p></p><p>I wish I had more help for you. You might find ideas and help in Parenting your teen with Love and logic.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 518366, member: 1233"] What does Boogerman love? What can he NOT live without? Every time he leaves the bathroom clean he earns X amt of Favorite Item (FI). Every time he leaves urine on the seat he loses FI for x amt of time. On the floor? Lose FI for Y amt of time. He MUST clean up or he loses FI for 2X or 2Y amt of time. Cleaning up after being caught with NO fight, delay or backtalk earns him a cleaning reward - NOT FI but 2nd FI time. If you know he loved video games and is just DYING to get game Q or Z, go and buy it. He gets 2 hours to play the day you buy it. Then YOU take custody and he must earn ALL time with it via bathroom manners. Consider writing down the steps for urinating and supervising him until he clearly knows the steps. A hassle and embarrassing for him, but he can avoid it by not going everywhere. So it is his CHOICE to be supervised or not, not you imposing. No going to ANYONE"s house or whatever stores, places he likes until he reliably uses appropriate bathroom manners. ESPECIALLY make sure he knows he will lose the favorite non-home place until that happens if that is at all possible. Don't jump in with ANY of these steps until you have it all figured out in a plan and you have it written down so you don't forget and you THINK about the plan. Think of the plan like the boat that will carry you over the ocean of pee he has left on the floor over all these years. You sure don't want to capsize in that ocean, so you have to make sure to plug ALL the holes and leaks in the boat/plan before you start the journey. You are better off not trying to get away from the problem than to just jump in. Don't just use one of these things. You have probably done rewards, etc... for a long time with no results. This time you must be diabolical and really get to what he loves and what he abhors and use those against him. Bigtime use them against him and ignore his whines and tantrums over not having/going/doing what he loves until he does what he needs to do. I am guessing he doesn't go many places with peers because they don't want to spend time wth a kid who smells. if they haven't started this, they will soon, esp the girls. First though, has he been completely evaluated by a urologist? there may be some medical issue that contributes tot his that is urinary rather than odd/adhd/alphasoup issues. on the other hand, it may just be that it is fun to watch it spray everywhere. In that case try a toilet game. Sounds dumb, but have hm sink the cheerios. Or draw targets on toilet paper and have him try to hit them. I think you can buy them for little kids. I wish you lived in Japan because they came out with toilet video games for guys because guys are nasty slobs in public bathrooms (in my coed college dorm the guys would see how far back they could stand and hit the urinal or how long they could hit the ceiling, etc... ). I don't understand it, but most guys go through a stage or twelve where they want to do strange things with pee, like pee on a bee or write in snow. I saw a blurb on a website about a guy who asked his girlfriend to marry him by writing "will you marry me" in the snow - with pee. EEEEEUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWWW. I didn't get to whether she said yes or not, mostly because I don't want to think about a woman who would say yes to that! I would NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT have hm pee outside. Yes, it solves the cleanup issues. But if ANYONE, esp a little girl, sees him it could result in major problems. He probably won't discriminate between peeing at home behind a bush and at school or the ball field or park with people around. Then someone will call the police and he could actually end up on the sex offender registry and YOU could be in trouble for making him pee outside. CPS could also become involved if he told a teacher or other adult that you wouldn't let him use the bathroom. It would be VERY serious and you probably would be in HUGE trouble. It just isn't worth it. I wish I had more help for you. You might find ideas and help in Parenting your teen with Love and logic. [/QUOTE]
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