Need to pick your brains please......

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by PatriotsGirl, Sep 27, 2011.

  1. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    difficult child just called and told me that she has found a place to live renting a house with some other roomates. She tells me rent is due on Saturday and her portion is $325.00. I told her I would pay for October but after that she is responsible for her own rent. I asked if she was taking her furniture and she said no, which leads me to the question in which I texted - why are you paying over three hundred in rent and yet not having your stuff there? (no answer yet). I am supposed to go see the place on Thursday night but how can I be sure she is really staying there? Her friends could say anything to get money. I do not want to be played. So I am asking all of you wonderful members here - is there anyway to ensure she is not pulling a fast one on me to get money? I thought about writing a check directly to the landlord, but they could easily give me one of their names to write the check out to. Any ideas? I want to help her as long as it is legit....
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    The first problem, as I see it, is this:

    Why would any landlord enter a rental agreement with a minor????

    So the deal is suspicious right off the top. She can't be ON the lease, because legally, she is underage and cannot enter into a contract. Therefore, she must NOT be on any lease. So whose place is it? And what does the $325 cover? Rent? Utilities? Does she get her own bedroom? Or is she sharing it with someone? Is that why she doesn't need to bring her own furniture?

    Definitely check it out before whipping out that checkbook...
  3. keista

    keista New Member

    Possible the place is furnished. Also possible to find out who the landlord or leasing agency is so you are writing a legitimate check. I would insist that the check will get written out to ONLY the legitimate landlord or no dice. Good luck!
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    And if she isn't bringing her own furniture, then what is happening to that stuff? Hmmm...
  5. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    I would recommend that you have this out with your daughter...
  6. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Um, thanks for your contribution?
  7. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Can you ask for the landlord's name and address and google them? If it were me I would probably ask to speak with the landlord and somehow verify it is really him/her and get the check directly to him.

    Can't wait to hear what she is doing with her furniture. You are right to be suspicious.

  8. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    She would like for me to still hold on to it. I did tell her I need to know who the landlord is....funny, no responses still......

    Thank you to everyone who actually had input and ideas!! I am still so nervous about getting played. I guess we will see what happens on Thursday. If she blows me off again, I know it was just a scam.... :/
  9. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    What about telling her that you will do as promised to pay for this month but you will go WITH her to the landlord and arrange to meet at the rental property so that you can see first the location and that you will pay the landlord then?
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I think you can call the county and check the property tax rolls to fnd out who owns the property. They may have some other type of listing, but somewhere there is a way to check who owns that property. Make a few calls, if you know a realtor they could help easily, and only make the check out to that person.

    Malika, PG's daughter is not someone you could "have it out with". I know it is hard to understand with your son so young, but her daughter has refused to make safe/appropriate choices, has run away many times, and has chosen a life of drugs and life "on the street" in some of the worst ways. PG's daughter also lies like she breathes (like many difficult children, esp ones involved with drugs) so everything the girl says must be independently verified and very little she says is actually the truth and not a scam to get money for drugs. I know it is hard for you to understand, but this is the type of thing a person on drugs, esp with other difficult child tendencies, does as a usual way of life.
  11. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Susiestar!!! I didn't even think about that!!! My best friend is a paralegal that does real estate closings - she has access to all of that information. Brilliant! This is why I ask you all..... :)
  12. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Susiestar is right on the money. It is great to be able to reach out to your friends for some of the best advice ever ... Good Luck PG and let us know how it works out ...
  13. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Definitely find out who the landlord is...also try googling the address (street address in quotes "123 Main", Anywheretown zipcode) you may be surprised to see what pops up. When difficult child rented his apartment - that's how I found out the details ... and once I had the landlords name (a real estate company) I found lots of bad reviews for them on Yelp etc. My difficult child is officially an idiot for signing that lease. (it's totally predatory, likely breaks the law. It may be a plus that your daughter is underage so it won't be enforceable)

    If the apt is in a college or "young person's" part of town, it's very likely that it could have rudimentary furnishings. Or she could be subletting from a prior tenant who left furnishings.

    Let us know what you find out...
  14. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    This sounds rather sarcastic, PG. Sorry if my comment somehow offended you - no offence meant, truly! I was simply thinking about what I would do in your shoes and that is what I would want to do - ask my daughter about it. If that is a redundant suggestion - toss it out of the window!
  15. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    I think that's British for "to speak honestly and openly". In the US it implies a heated argument.
  16. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Hah! Really Three Shadows? Two nations divided by a common language again? Yes, to have it out in BE means to have a frank discussion, open communication, that sort of thing... But I realise my comment was a little crass in the sense that I do not actually know the history of PG's daughter. I was just imagining what I would like to do - couldn't really understand why PG wasn't asking her directly. No, Susiestar, you are right - I guess I don't really "get" it about addicts and how they operate. You will understand if I say I hope I never find out.
    I hope your daughter is telling you the truth.
  17. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Malika - I am sorry. I took your comment as I should be asking my daughter about it rather than posting here. Communication barrier, I guess.
    Yes, those of us here in the Emeritus deal with a whole different difficult child world. One that you have not yet experienced. I pray you never do.
    If I could take what my difficult child says at face value, I wouldn't have to come here - I would have an answer for everything! :)
  18. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The problem with asking a difficult child a direct question is, you rarely get a direct answer, so "having it out" (in either context) doesn't really work well for our adult kids. That's one reason many of us come here to bounce things off each other. I know I've recently received three different stories from Oldest about her moving/living situation... I've had to try to piece the "truth" together from all of them. Not easy! We do learn to be pretty good detectives though, don't we?!
  19. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Yes, the title "Parent Emeritus" is a misnomer. A fantasy of "in a perfect world" -- a place one hopes to be with one's adult children. How I wish we were sending them postcards from a tropical place... "wish you were here", having celebrated our retirement with a gold watch and a "thank you for your 18 years of dedicated service, job well done MVP" award
  20. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    You know your daughter and your situation, PG. My suggestion was really taken from that wonderful book "How to State the Bleedin' Obvious"... :)