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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 753205" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Let's face it. Would any of us have spoken to our parents the way our kids do? Would this not trigger anyone? The kids may not have caused old wounds, but, like you said, they trigger them. Big time. If we have self esteem problems, our own kids belittling us would play on this badly, wouldn't it?</p><p></p><p> I don't like the way this generation has no problem belittling their parents. It seems to be socially acceptable, which was not the case when I was younger.</p><p></p><p> In our family there were many kids and we all helped out and had a part and I felt loved, but sometimes like certain sisters or brothers were loved more. But I never would have acted out on my parents when I felt insecure. I wanted to be a part of the whole. I thought all kids did.</p><p></p><p>So it shocked me that Kay didn't want to have a part in the family and was so hateful to the rest of us. It used to make my head hurt to think about it. I don't understand how our kids can know how much they hurt us and still hurt us. I don't understand how so many don't want a close family. It was all I wanted...to be close to my parents and siblings. I would have done nothing to destroy being a loved part of my family. Kay and many other millennials do not seem to care about family.</p><p></p><p>But I am adjusting. I would not give any advice to Kay. I used to. A lot. I sent her articles and tried to speak to her calmly, mother to daughter. She would then tell me rudely to leave her alone and called me a helicopter mom more than once. Or that I'm not really her mother. I now keep my opinions to myself. Kay doesn't respect the role of a mother. While she was sassing us, we were paying all her bills.</p><p></p><p>Ironically my own mother would kindly suggest to me to not to give Kay so much, that people respect things that they work for. I was respectful to my mother, of course, but I didn't listen to her smart advice.</p><p></p><p>Wise, you are a good mother with a lot of insight and I believe you are also fighting your own issues with your own mother. You are smart and will figure out what to do for your situation. Your daughter is part of the way things are today. We carried our pain inside and continued to be respectful. Not today. Many grown kids act as if we never had pain and that their own pain is the worst ever and all our fault. And frankly most of us give them more, including attention, than we ever got from our parents. I really don't think this is a good trend. They get so much love, attention, and material things that they become entitled and don't appreciate even the love! They turn that on us.</p><p></p><p>Wise, I send you prayers and hugs. Trust me when I say I know how you feel and am very sorry. I also trust your ability to work it out. Keep us posted.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 753205, member: 23706"] Let's face it. Would any of us have spoken to our parents the way our kids do? Would this not trigger anyone? The kids may not have caused old wounds, but, like you said, they trigger them. Big time. If we have self esteem problems, our own kids belittling us would play on this badly, wouldn't it? I don't like the way this generation has no problem belittling their parents. It seems to be socially acceptable, which was not the case when I was younger. In our family there were many kids and we all helped out and had a part and I felt loved, but sometimes like certain sisters or brothers were loved more. But I never would have acted out on my parents when I felt insecure. I wanted to be a part of the whole. I thought all kids did. So it shocked me that Kay didn't want to have a part in the family and was so hateful to the rest of us. It used to make my head hurt to think about it. I don't understand how our kids can know how much they hurt us and still hurt us. I don't understand how so many don't want a close family. It was all I wanted...to be close to my parents and siblings. I would have done nothing to destroy being a loved part of my family. Kay and many other millennials do not seem to care about family. But I am adjusting. I would not give any advice to Kay. I used to. A lot. I sent her articles and tried to speak to her calmly, mother to daughter. She would then tell me rudely to leave her alone and called me a helicopter mom more than once. Or that I'm not really her mother. I now keep my opinions to myself. Kay doesn't respect the role of a mother. While she was sassing us, we were paying all her bills. Ironically my own mother would kindly suggest to me to not to give Kay so much, that people respect things that they work for. I was respectful to my mother, of course, but I didn't listen to her smart advice. Wise, you are a good mother with a lot of insight and I believe you are also fighting your own issues with your own mother. You are smart and will figure out what to do for your situation. Your daughter is part of the way things are today. We carried our pain inside and continued to be respectful. Not today. Many grown kids act as if we never had pain and that their own pain is the worst ever and all our fault. And frankly most of us give them more, including attention, than we ever got from our parents. I really don't think this is a good trend. They get so much love, attention, and material things that they become entitled and don't appreciate even the love! They turn that on us. Wise, I send you prayers and hugs. Trust me when I say I know how you feel and am very sorry. I also trust your ability to work it out. Keep us posted. [/QUOTE]
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