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Substance Abuse
Need to stay strong....need a steel spine....
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 586613" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>PG, no you're absolutely right. That whole scenario is right out of the <span style="color: #0000cd">difficult child manipulation handbook</span>, page 37 where it says:</p><p><span style="color: #ff0000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #ff0000">*ask for something, </span></p><p><span style="color: #ff0000">*be told no, </span></p><p><span style="color: #ff0000">*make it a drama where in some fashion you are at risk........ </span></p><p><span style="color: #ff0000">*make mom feel sorry for you and feel if mom doesn't do something, a horrible fate will befall you........</span></p><p><span style="color: #ff0000">*while mom is busy visualizing your funeral or hospital stay or street walking, </span></p><p><span style="color: #ff0000">*you grab the check/cash/car and run. </span></p><p><span style="color: #ff0000"></span></p><p>My second response, from my recent experience, is that it is as if we have to plug up all the loopholes, make sure there are no broken fence slats around us, or the difficult child will find said loophole or broken slat and squeeze in with a new attempt at manipulation. Manipulation is a lifestyle choice, the way needs get met, I think it's natural for them to go that route. Which makes a great case for us using our detachment tools to plug up all the holes, mend the fences around us, so that someday, there will be no more ways, no more little crevices to sneak through, all loopholes will be plugged. And, then, either they find a new person to manipulate, learn better ways to connect with us, or whatever, but the first choice won't be, let me go manipulate Mom. What I am seeing is that the manipulation is pretty much over now....... I am out of the game. I think your first gut response was right on.</p><p></p><p>Oh, go get the camper, as Calamity Jane told me when I was feeling guilty about spending money on myself when my difficult child is in such dire straights.........what are you going to do, wear a hair shirt? Well, that made me laugh and has become my new visual whenever I have that pang of guilt........HUGS...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 586613, member: 13542"] PG, no you're absolutely right. That whole scenario is right out of the [COLOR=#0000cd]difficult child manipulation handbook[/COLOR], page 37 where it says: [COLOR=#ff0000] *ask for something, *be told no, *make it a drama where in some fashion you are at risk........ *make mom feel sorry for you and feel if mom doesn't do something, a horrible fate will befall you........ *while mom is busy visualizing your funeral or hospital stay or street walking, *you grab the check/cash/car and run. [/COLOR] My second response, from my recent experience, is that it is as if we have to plug up all the loopholes, make sure there are no broken fence slats around us, or the difficult child will find said loophole or broken slat and squeeze in with a new attempt at manipulation. Manipulation is a lifestyle choice, the way needs get met, I think it's natural for them to go that route. Which makes a great case for us using our detachment tools to plug up all the holes, mend the fences around us, so that someday, there will be no more ways, no more little crevices to sneak through, all loopholes will be plugged. And, then, either they find a new person to manipulate, learn better ways to connect with us, or whatever, but the first choice won't be, let me go manipulate Mom. What I am seeing is that the manipulation is pretty much over now....... I am out of the game. I think your first gut response was right on. Oh, go get the camper, as Calamity Jane told me when I was feeling guilty about spending money on myself when my difficult child is in such dire straights.........what are you going to do, wear a hair shirt? Well, that made me laugh and has become my new visual whenever I have that pang of guilt........HUGS... [/QUOTE]
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