Good for you! It feels so much better to be in self preservation mode!
I was thinking today that putting my efforts for growth and change into my alcoholic or mentally ill relatives or friends is so very draining, and yields zero results. And how, in contrast, investing that energy into me yields huge results in growth, in change, in loving and accepting myself . It is rewardinf!
I think your turtle with a broken leg analogy is perfect: because we cannot affect change in someone else, we put our own lives into full stop mode. It is that draining, that energy zapping and really shows the full measure of our powerlessness over others. To work step 1 in Al-Anon which is admitting that we are powerless over alcoholism (and people, places and things) then points the way to freedom. I am free to live my life and I can surrender and release all that baggage that is clinging to me like dead weight. The underlying spiritual principle is acceptance and that is where you find yourself .
