hi
ok i'm sorry i have to come to you guys again, yet we don't know the right way to handle this at all.
So, after finally figuring out what we were doing for thanksgiving, now boyfriend gets a call yesterday from his ex who says that 2 of the 3 kids want to be with-us for thanksgiving!! Now, i'Tourette's Syndrome the ex's year. Last year we had them. We already made plans, and can def not afford to add 2 more ppl onto dinner bill out at the restaraunt with my parents, plus his son would not fair well there at all, he has adhd.
So, the ex is putting absolutely no effort into the holiday or making a nice holiday for the kids at all. Sh'es not cooking a turkey at all, just chicken no sides i'm sure no special dessert. IN her own words "itll be just another day". Now ofcourse the kids won't wanna be there!! Plus we "think" she gave them the option by saying well i'm not doing anything here so if you wanna go to dad's without checking to see what our plans are, etc.
So, on one hand we don't want to, especially boyfriend make his own chlidren feel we don't want them, yet at the same time we are nt' sure how good this is for them the lack of stability. Cause now next holiday it'll be up for grabs oh where do you wanna go??
I'm confused, so is he. his ex i'm telling you guys can't stand her!! I want to call her and say you haven't done enough bad things to your kids you can't even make a nice holiday for them! Her "partner" is a vegan, so to her there's no need for a turkey, yet i't s not just that it's her laziness of not doing the right thing for the kids. Even if it was chicken with sides, and desserts and some effort put forth yet there is not.
What do you we do?? Do we upset difficult child my difficult child and say oh remember how we were supposed to go to grandma's that's cancelled, upset my parents with whom i'm sure would understand, and say ok we will take them.
or does he say to his ex stop being lazy make a nice holiday for them and you should never of given them options. yet as he reminds me all the time we can't control her actions at all, or make her want to care. I'm just afraid if he says ok we'll take them, and we totally change our plans and wind up by his families now that on christmas and every holiday thereafter it'll be a joke of the kids chosing where they go, total mayham and giving them too much control.
??? any thoughts. we have to decide by today
ok i'm sorry i have to come to you guys again, yet we don't know the right way to handle this at all.
So, after finally figuring out what we were doing for thanksgiving, now boyfriend gets a call yesterday from his ex who says that 2 of the 3 kids want to be with-us for thanksgiving!! Now, i'Tourette's Syndrome the ex's year. Last year we had them. We already made plans, and can def not afford to add 2 more ppl onto dinner bill out at the restaraunt with my parents, plus his son would not fair well there at all, he has adhd.
So, the ex is putting absolutely no effort into the holiday or making a nice holiday for the kids at all. Sh'es not cooking a turkey at all, just chicken no sides i'm sure no special dessert. IN her own words "itll be just another day". Now ofcourse the kids won't wanna be there!! Plus we "think" she gave them the option by saying well i'm not doing anything here so if you wanna go to dad's without checking to see what our plans are, etc.
So, on one hand we don't want to, especially boyfriend make his own chlidren feel we don't want them, yet at the same time we are nt' sure how good this is for them the lack of stability. Cause now next holiday it'll be up for grabs oh where do you wanna go??
I'm confused, so is he. his ex i'm telling you guys can't stand her!! I want to call her and say you haven't done enough bad things to your kids you can't even make a nice holiday for them! Her "partner" is a vegan, so to her there's no need for a turkey, yet i't s not just that it's her laziness of not doing the right thing for the kids. Even if it was chicken with sides, and desserts and some effort put forth yet there is not.
What do you we do?? Do we upset difficult child my difficult child and say oh remember how we were supposed to go to grandma's that's cancelled, upset my parents with whom i'm sure would understand, and say ok we will take them.
or does he say to his ex stop being lazy make a nice holiday for them and you should never of given them options. yet as he reminds me all the time we can't control her actions at all, or make her want to care. I'm just afraid if he says ok we'll take them, and we totally change our plans and wind up by his families now that on christmas and every holiday thereafter it'll be a joke of the kids chosing where they go, total mayham and giving them too much control.
??? any thoughts. we have to decide by today