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need your advice pls... kid issue/thanksgiving
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 215097" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple">Hey Jennifer - please try and take a deep breath. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple">I am confused. Did you already tell the children they would be joining you at your family's table? Or did you only tell them they wouldn't be with their mom?</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple">If all they have been told is that they will not be with mom, then I would say to boyfriend that he can take them with him to his parent's home and you go to yours. If you've already told them they were coming with you to your parent's home, then I would tell boyfriend that he needs to save the day by being consistent about the plans and this year, you all go to your moms. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple">on the other hand, it is important, VERY important for everyone to realize that, yes, every year for every major holiday there may be an upset and you may not spend it together. How about a family meeting and vote and see where everyone stands. Are all the kids old enough to participate in something like that?</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple">Early on it was very difficult for my kids to not join H and me at my brother's traditional Thanksgiving shindig. They got over it - it's just another day spending dinner with extended family. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple">Perhaps you are placing too much importance on the day.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple">Perhaps you and boyfriend can take all the kiddos to his parent's for dinner on Sunday following instead of Thanksgiving? Or vice versa. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple">My exh and I split the holidays. One year they are with me for Thanksgiving and him for Christmas and then the following year we switch it. Now, as the kids got older and their work schedules change, we parents, i.e., the ADULTS in the situation, get over ourselves and you eventually realize that it's not the DAY that is important...it's what you make of the time you ARE together. So, two days after Christmas or Thanksgiving, the girls will visit their dad for a day or so. Or vice versa. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple">It's not a celebratory holiday is the familiy is fighting. Hugs - good luck. </span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 215097, member: 2211"] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple]Hey Jennifer - please try and take a deep breath. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple]I am confused. Did you already tell the children they would be joining you at your family's table? Or did you only tell them they wouldn't be with their mom?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple]If all they have been told is that they will not be with mom, then I would say to boyfriend that he can take them with him to his parent's home and you go to yours. If you've already told them they were coming with you to your parent's home, then I would tell boyfriend that he needs to save the day by being consistent about the plans and this year, you all go to your moms. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple]on the other hand, it is important, VERY important for everyone to realize that, yes, every year for every major holiday there may be an upset and you may not spend it together. How about a family meeting and vote and see where everyone stands. Are all the kids old enough to participate in something like that?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple]Early on it was very difficult for my kids to not join H and me at my brother's traditional Thanksgiving shindig. They got over it - it's just another day spending dinner with extended family. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple]Perhaps you are placing too much importance on the day.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple]Perhaps you and boyfriend can take all the kiddos to his parent's for dinner on Sunday following instead of Thanksgiving? Or vice versa. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple]My exh and I split the holidays. One year they are with me for Thanksgiving and him for Christmas and then the following year we switch it. Now, as the kids got older and their work schedules change, we parents, i.e., the ADULTS in the situation, get over ourselves and you eventually realize that it's not the DAY that is important...it's what you make of the time you ARE together. So, two days after Christmas or Thanksgiving, the girls will visit their dad for a day or so. Or vice versa. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple]It's not a celebratory holiday is the familiy is fighting. Hugs - good luck. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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need your advice pls... kid issue/thanksgiving
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