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need your advice pls... kid issue/thanksgiving
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 215110" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Any chance you can just have Thanksgiving dinner at your home and invite both sets of grandparents there? I discovered many years ago that cooking for two or twenty is pretty much the same amount of work when it comes to holiday meals.</p><p> </p><p>You have every right to be furious with the ex but do your best to keep the anger to yourself. Letting her know is self-defeating. Sounding off to boyfriend is just going to lead to fights. He won't defend her but he will defend any decision he makes about his kids regardless of how unfair it is to anyone else. Sadly, that's usually the nature of the beast when it comes to the non-custodial parent. Definitely do your best to not let any of the kids know how much she angers you. No matter what, it will get back to his kids and, thus, his ex at some point. The less she knows she has upset you, the more you are ahead of the game.</p><p> </p><p>Remind ex that you are a blended family and there should be turns with the grandparents. Not my/your parents but the grandparents of all of the kids. If one set of parents treats the kids differently because some of the kids are biological and some are not, then those grandparents need to be talked to and reminded that no matter where the kids live, they are now all grandkids to both sets of parents (he talks to his, you talk to yours). On this one, he's dead wrong to say that they'll have to go to his parents. Unless, of course, he doesn't want your relationship to work. It really does have to be a united family as much as possible. If the grandparents don't follow the plan, they lose but he can't do the separation at this point.</p><p> </p><p>I really don't have an issue with the kids choosing where they want to spend a holiday. I think kids should have a say-so in this. I do have issues with no advance warning by ex but there's not much you can do about that. However, the plans that were put in place should not be changed unless there is a real reason (no room, not enough food, not enough funds to feed a couple of extra mouths). Because the kids expect to be with one set of grandparents is not a real reason. Sorry, dude.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 215110, member: 3626"] Any chance you can just have Thanksgiving dinner at your home and invite both sets of grandparents there? I discovered many years ago that cooking for two or twenty is pretty much the same amount of work when it comes to holiday meals. You have every right to be furious with the ex but do your best to keep the anger to yourself. Letting her know is self-defeating. Sounding off to boyfriend is just going to lead to fights. He won't defend her but he will defend any decision he makes about his kids regardless of how unfair it is to anyone else. Sadly, that's usually the nature of the beast when it comes to the non-custodial parent. Definitely do your best to not let any of the kids know how much she angers you. No matter what, it will get back to his kids and, thus, his ex at some point. The less she knows she has upset you, the more you are ahead of the game. Remind ex that you are a blended family and there should be turns with the grandparents. Not my/your parents but the grandparents of all of the kids. If one set of parents treats the kids differently because some of the kids are biological and some are not, then those grandparents need to be talked to and reminded that no matter where the kids live, they are now all grandkids to both sets of parents (he talks to his, you talk to yours). On this one, he's dead wrong to say that they'll have to go to his parents. Unless, of course, he doesn't want your relationship to work. It really does have to be a united family as much as possible. If the grandparents don't follow the plan, they lose but he can't do the separation at this point. I really don't have an issue with the kids choosing where they want to spend a holiday. I think kids should have a say-so in this. I do have issues with no advance warning by ex but there's not much you can do about that. However, the plans that were put in place should not be changed unless there is a real reason (no room, not enough food, not enough funds to feed a couple of extra mouths). Because the kids expect to be with one set of grandparents is not a real reason. Sorry, dude. [/QUOTE]
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need your advice pls... kid issue/thanksgiving
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