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need your advice pls... kid issue/thanksgiving
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 215189" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>Jo</p><p> </p><p>I think it's just been a while now of things on and off from his ex and her endless behaviors and this just for me is the icing on the cake. How can you not want your own children for a holiday and "do" for them, it enrages me.</p><p> </p><p>Just so you know, the children have no idea we are arguing about anything at all. He is at work all the time except two days a week. he works 18 hour days. So, yes I know i can't imagine how horrible his kids feel knowing that their mom is offering us up as an option because she doesnt' want to do the holiday with them. That is what made me go against the therapist and say ok let's just take the kids this year. I don't want them so young like that 9 and 7 to feel unwanted for a holiday. If mom's going to make them feel this way than i am certainly not going to.</p><p> </p><p>I agree whole heartedly with you regarding "our" actions. That is actually exactly what I told him. I said "our reaction" to her antics as a "unit" is very important. It's our only hope. Granted i'm flipping out, yes immature on my part, i know. Yet i have a limit and this is the icing on the cake for me in regards to her. I know from here on out I will handle these things by not getting involved and making my own plans to be honest. I cannot "help" him learn how to grow in his situation quite frankly. Situation meaning adapting to divorce, shared holidays, a difficult ex wife with whom he still care very much for and she uses it to her advantage by pulling things like this. He has to find his own way with his therapist during his sessions.</p><p> </p><p>I have my own stuff, difficult child home all day. I can't do this it's way way too upsetting to me. I know what I would do if I were him, yet I"m not. I would get her on the phone and plant her, than i'd take my kids with my girlfriend's family and have a great day. done. when i make a decision i tend to stick with it, he's all over the place i think due to the guilt he feels that their own mom is looking to dump them for the holidays.</p><p> </p><p>His ex is unlike anyone i've ever met, truly. She is needy, demanding, aggressive, self centered and self absorbed. It's a bad mix for a woman who decided to have 3 children. </p><p> </p><p><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> my bath helped and i made difficult child myself and easy child a great dinner steak, salad, baked rolls. we had a great weekend actually 2 play dates with difficult child new friends, movies with her friend this morning, last night we did our pizza and movie. thanks again</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 215189, member: 4514"] Jo I think it's just been a while now of things on and off from his ex and her endless behaviors and this just for me is the icing on the cake. How can you not want your own children for a holiday and "do" for them, it enrages me. Just so you know, the children have no idea we are arguing about anything at all. He is at work all the time except two days a week. he works 18 hour days. So, yes I know i can't imagine how horrible his kids feel knowing that their mom is offering us up as an option because she doesnt' want to do the holiday with them. That is what made me go against the therapist and say ok let's just take the kids this year. I don't want them so young like that 9 and 7 to feel unwanted for a holiday. If mom's going to make them feel this way than i am certainly not going to. I agree whole heartedly with you regarding "our" actions. That is actually exactly what I told him. I said "our reaction" to her antics as a "unit" is very important. It's our only hope. Granted i'm flipping out, yes immature on my part, i know. Yet i have a limit and this is the icing on the cake for me in regards to her. I know from here on out I will handle these things by not getting involved and making my own plans to be honest. I cannot "help" him learn how to grow in his situation quite frankly. Situation meaning adapting to divorce, shared holidays, a difficult ex wife with whom he still care very much for and she uses it to her advantage by pulling things like this. He has to find his own way with his therapist during his sessions. I have my own stuff, difficult child home all day. I can't do this it's way way too upsetting to me. I know what I would do if I were him, yet I"m not. I would get her on the phone and plant her, than i'd take my kids with my girlfriend's family and have a great day. done. when i make a decision i tend to stick with it, he's all over the place i think due to the guilt he feels that their own mom is looking to dump them for the holidays. His ex is unlike anyone i've ever met, truly. She is needy, demanding, aggressive, self centered and self absorbed. It's a bad mix for a woman who decided to have 3 children. :) my bath helped and i made difficult child myself and easy child a great dinner steak, salad, baked rolls. we had a great weekend actually 2 play dates with difficult child new friends, movies with her friend this morning, last night we did our pizza and movie. thanks again [/QUOTE]
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