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need your advice pls... kid issue/thanksgiving
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 215319" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>Jo</p><p> </p><p>Good morning </p><p> </p><p>Thanks for taking the time to respond, i hope you are feeling well as of late. I took some quiet time last night to reflect on the past week, the unneeded "drama" etc. I have alot on my plate, with difficult child and easy child and me and you are correct my ppl come first and me. I am not ever going to get caught up in this again like this and i will tell you why.</p><p> </p><p>He came home from work last night at 11 the usual time, we sat and talked. I said i am so upset with what your ex has done, i feel bad for the kids, i feel badyour in a bad spot, and now im confused about how it is you are handling things. What is it you want??</p><p> </p><p>He said well my ex this is just who she is, i care for her i think i always will, etc. He said you have to remember it's 18 years, and this is who she is and for some reason I just can't hate her or be mad at her for any length of time. I have something deep inside of me for her, i don't know what it is, i'm not in love with her anymore i'm in love with you yet it's there. </p><p> </p><p>i said oh great!! LOL. I said so basically she acts this way because she knows this (the ex I mean) how he feels and she "plays" him and tortures us. He never puts the breaks on and says to her ok enough is enough this is my new life, your my past life back off. He takes the calls, answers the texts etc. This is not good moving forward adn he does not connect his behavior on how he handles her tothe ongoing torture and craziness she pulls.</p><p> </p><p>With that being said i guess i'll need time to mull that over, to be honest no woman wants to hear that. he reassures me he's 100&#37; into our relationship,etc ummm ok. ??</p><p> </p><p>Anyway he feels it's better that his kids spend thanksgiving with their mom who doesn't really want them there instead of dragging them out with-my family. He said they won't sit well, they don't know your family well and i think it's better they spend it with their mom.</p><p> </p><p>I said funny thing is i was more upset about all of this than you were i bet. You were at work pre occupied and doing your thing, not mad at your ex at all and i was home spewing. Wow, so silly and ridiuclous for me to waste my energy that way. So, supposedly he is giong with me and the kids to my moms. Yet who knows with this soga if it'll change yet again. i told my mom regardless easy child difficult child and i will be there <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>So, i've learned my lesson to no longer get caught up in "their" drama. Yet Jo i have to be honest with the way he says he still feels for the ex how is that giong to affect our future and the future torture his ex will do?? I'm not sure i'm up for a life like that. I mean is this normal??</p><p> </p><p>thanks again!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 215319, member: 4514"] Jo Good morning Thanks for taking the time to respond, i hope you are feeling well as of late. I took some quiet time last night to reflect on the past week, the unneeded "drama" etc. I have alot on my plate, with difficult child and easy child and me and you are correct my ppl come first and me. I am not ever going to get caught up in this again like this and i will tell you why. He came home from work last night at 11 the usual time, we sat and talked. I said i am so upset with what your ex has done, i feel bad for the kids, i feel badyour in a bad spot, and now im confused about how it is you are handling things. What is it you want?? He said well my ex this is just who she is, i care for her i think i always will, etc. He said you have to remember it's 18 years, and this is who she is and for some reason I just can't hate her or be mad at her for any length of time. I have something deep inside of me for her, i don't know what it is, i'm not in love with her anymore i'm in love with you yet it's there. i said oh great!! LOL. I said so basically she acts this way because she knows this (the ex I mean) how he feels and she "plays" him and tortures us. He never puts the breaks on and says to her ok enough is enough this is my new life, your my past life back off. He takes the calls, answers the texts etc. This is not good moving forward adn he does not connect his behavior on how he handles her tothe ongoing torture and craziness she pulls. With that being said i guess i'll need time to mull that over, to be honest no woman wants to hear that. he reassures me he's 100% into our relationship,etc ummm ok. ?? Anyway he feels it's better that his kids spend thanksgiving with their mom who doesn't really want them there instead of dragging them out with-my family. He said they won't sit well, they don't know your family well and i think it's better they spend it with their mom. I said funny thing is i was more upset about all of this than you were i bet. You were at work pre occupied and doing your thing, not mad at your ex at all and i was home spewing. Wow, so silly and ridiuclous for me to waste my energy that way. So, supposedly he is giong with me and the kids to my moms. Yet who knows with this soga if it'll change yet again. i told my mom regardless easy child difficult child and i will be there :) So, i've learned my lesson to no longer get caught up in "their" drama. Yet Jo i have to be honest with the way he says he still feels for the ex how is that giong to affect our future and the future torture his ex will do?? I'm not sure i'm up for a life like that. I mean is this normal?? thanks again!! [/QUOTE]
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need your advice pls... kid issue/thanksgiving
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