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<blockquote data-quote="Chele" data-source="post: 86075" data-attributes="member: 4189"><p>I have a 17 yr old son that was in a boarding school for 7 months due to continued drug use. Weed, as you know, is a gateway drug. We, too, have learned much about addiction and drug use over the last two years and this is what I try to focus on daily. He returned home last spring due to medical leave. </p><p> If your son chooses to get back in with the same crowd, he is likely to start again. Unfortunately, this is his decision, you can not stop him. I have learned that my nagging and yelling has done no good, only hurt our relationship. He will have to want to stop and want it BAD. We can not do it for them. I try to focus on what WE ( the parents) are willing to do and allow in our home. In order for our son to live with us, he must follow those rules or he will have to move out soon after his is 18. We also got the courts to help us with his probation and regular drug screens. If is important that you begin to work on letting go of him, but loving and supporting him always. Let the natural consequences fall on him, this is how they learn. And it won't be coming from the parents. Maybe look at some NA web sites on how to deal with a drug user. Coping skills and learning NOT to let it effect your whole being and happiness. It is really hard, we deal with it everyday. The fear, lack of trust and disappointment. Keep up with AA or NA, it really helps us and start remembering that you have to think of the rest of the family too. We try to keep our son busy with productive things, therapy, NA meetings, volunteering and limit the social times to two per week. He can't control the friends but at least the amount of hours per week. We have reduced his curfew on week nights and weekend also. If he breaks the rules, I call the probation counselor. Good luck.</p><p></p><p>Chele</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Chele, post: 86075, member: 4189"] I have a 17 yr old son that was in a boarding school for 7 months due to continued drug use. Weed, as you know, is a gateway drug. We, too, have learned much about addiction and drug use over the last two years and this is what I try to focus on daily. He returned home last spring due to medical leave. If your son chooses to get back in with the same crowd, he is likely to start again. Unfortunately, this is his decision, you can not stop him. I have learned that my nagging and yelling has done no good, only hurt our relationship. He will have to want to stop and want it BAD. We can not do it for them. I try to focus on what WE ( the parents) are willing to do and allow in our home. In order for our son to live with us, he must follow those rules or he will have to move out soon after his is 18. We also got the courts to help us with his probation and regular drug screens. If is important that you begin to work on letting go of him, but loving and supporting him always. Let the natural consequences fall on him, this is how they learn. And it won't be coming from the parents. Maybe look at some NA web sites on how to deal with a drug user. Coping skills and learning NOT to let it effect your whole being and happiness. It is really hard, we deal with it everyday. The fear, lack of trust and disappointment. Keep up with AA or NA, it really helps us and start remembering that you have to think of the rest of the family too. We try to keep our son busy with productive things, therapy, NA meetings, volunteering and limit the social times to two per week. He can't control the friends but at least the amount of hours per week. We have reduced his curfew on week nights and weekend also. If he breaks the rules, I call the probation counselor. Good luck. Chele [/QUOTE]
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