Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Negativity
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 69399" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>I hear you!</p><p>I agree, that taking your difficult child to a homeless shelter or where ever you choose will make a difference. Make it a weekly event, and couple it with-bagging up a bunch of difficult child's stuff and donating it, to drive home the point.</p><p>When you do it, don't b*thch the entire time (like I used to, LOL!) Just make it a matter-of-fact thing, like it's something you do every day. And do it every day if you have to! Trust me, it's worth the effort of a couple of wks, because it won't last forever. </p><p>When your difficult child says, "They're used to it," you can always respond, "That's right, and you'll be used to it soon, too!"</p><p>You can also add, "by the way, just because you're used to something doesn't mean you like it."</p><p></p><p>Our difficult child is extremely negative, too. Our child psychologist suggested making difficult child even more miserable, LOL! Which sounds counterproductive, but it works! We have bagged up a lot of stuff because our difficult child, like other kids, is very spoiled, and he has had to go with-me to donate it. He is angry and complains about it the whole way but since he's angry and complaining anyway, why not do something constructive at the same time? After awhile, our difficult child stopped complaining. </p><p></p><p>Also, our difficult child has to do chores. The minute he complains, he gets privileges taken away and I keep taking them away until he shuts up. Right now he's only got a mattress, bookcase, books and a few clothes in his room. (A lot of that is also because he was violent and was wrecking things.) And believe it or not, he's better behaved than he was a yr ago! </p><p></p><p>Also, when our difficult child complalns, assuming it's not something legit like a bee sting, we immediately tell him it's not allowed and he can complain by himself in another room but we're not going to listen to it. Period. If he won't go to his room, we do the usual thing of saying, "First one up to your room gets their pick of toys or books to give away," and we walk slowly (to give him a chance) to his room and follow through. Usually he renigs and stops complaining immediately.</p><p>It took many, many tries to get to this point but it really works now, with-o fail.</p><p></p><p>You cannot change difficult child's attitude, per se. Some kids are just born negative. But you can change her behavior (And behavior is what our child psychiatric is trained in, as opposed to the deep-seated psychiatry stuff). Often, once you change the behavior, the rest follows. It's a gradual awakening to how life works, a way to put things into perspective.</p><p></p><p>Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 69399, member: 3419"] I hear you! I agree, that taking your difficult child to a homeless shelter or where ever you choose will make a difference. Make it a weekly event, and couple it with-bagging up a bunch of difficult child's stuff and donating it, to drive home the point. When you do it, don't b*thch the entire time (like I used to, LOL!) Just make it a matter-of-fact thing, like it's something you do every day. And do it every day if you have to! Trust me, it's worth the effort of a couple of wks, because it won't last forever. When your difficult child says, "They're used to it," you can always respond, "That's right, and you'll be used to it soon, too!" You can also add, "by the way, just because you're used to something doesn't mean you like it." Our difficult child is extremely negative, too. Our child psychologist suggested making difficult child even more miserable, LOL! Which sounds counterproductive, but it works! We have bagged up a lot of stuff because our difficult child, like other kids, is very spoiled, and he has had to go with-me to donate it. He is angry and complains about it the whole way but since he's angry and complaining anyway, why not do something constructive at the same time? After awhile, our difficult child stopped complaining. Also, our difficult child has to do chores. The minute he complains, he gets privileges taken away and I keep taking them away until he shuts up. Right now he's only got a mattress, bookcase, books and a few clothes in his room. (A lot of that is also because he was violent and was wrecking things.) And believe it or not, he's better behaved than he was a yr ago! Also, when our difficult child complalns, assuming it's not something legit like a bee sting, we immediately tell him it's not allowed and he can complain by himself in another room but we're not going to listen to it. Period. If he won't go to his room, we do the usual thing of saying, "First one up to your room gets their pick of toys or books to give away," and we walk slowly (to give him a chance) to his room and follow through. Usually he renigs and stops complaining immediately. It took many, many tries to get to this point but it really works now, with-o fail. You cannot change difficult child's attitude, per se. Some kids are just born negative. But you can change her behavior (And behavior is what our child psychiatric is trained in, as opposed to the deep-seated psychiatry stuff). Often, once you change the behavior, the rest follows. It's a gradual awakening to how life works, a way to put things into perspective. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Negativity
Top