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Substance Abuse
Nervous and emotional
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 740016" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I would just not send money to him....nothing ev er....or no matter what he says it is for he will buy alcohol and/or other drugs. If you want to buy him something call the store yourselfyour pay by your own credit card, whose number he shouldnt have.</p><p></p><p>Also get into therapy unless you have a great friend who understands or Al Anon. Dont try to do this alone. It is too hard.</p><p></p><p>I assume your son chose to move far away. He is a man. It was his decision to do this. He will deal with being without family on the holidays. He may have a group of friends to be with or it may not bother him. Just because it bothers US doesnt mean they think like we do. Holidays trigger all addicts,no matter where they live or if family is there or not, because addicts drink and drug on holidays no matter where they are.</p><p></p><p>You must take care of yourself. It will do nobody any good if you get sick due to stress. That may mean only talking to your son for ten minutes on Sunday or not talking or texting him until you are healthier and stronger. Can be a while sometimes. Listening to the abuse and self made despair hurts us and doesnt help them one bit. Also, stay off his social media! These young adults often brag about their substance abuse on social media, posting pictures of themselves wasted. You need this?</p><p></p><p>You can love him. Love costs no money. It makes no demands. It just is.</p><p></p><p>You also can learn to love yourself.</p><p></p><p>Do not spend your retirement on him. He will not be there to help you if you need him. Maybe focus on your marriage, go on a second honeymoon. Hang with kind, clean loved ones and friends and count your blessings.</p><p></p><p>You matter.</p><p></p><p>Love and light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 740016, member: 1550"] I would just not send money to him....nothing ev er....or no matter what he says it is for he will buy alcohol and/or other drugs. If you want to buy him something call the store yourselfyour pay by your own credit card, whose number he shouldnt have. Also get into therapy unless you have a great friend who understands or Al Anon. Dont try to do this alone. It is too hard. I assume your son chose to move far away. He is a man. It was his decision to do this. He will deal with being without family on the holidays. He may have a group of friends to be with or it may not bother him. Just because it bothers US doesnt mean they think like we do. Holidays trigger all addicts,no matter where they live or if family is there or not, because addicts drink and drug on holidays no matter where they are. You must take care of yourself. It will do nobody any good if you get sick due to stress. That may mean only talking to your son for ten minutes on Sunday or not talking or texting him until you are healthier and stronger. Can be a while sometimes. Listening to the abuse and self made despair hurts us and doesnt help them one bit. Also, stay off his social media! These young adults often brag about their substance abuse on social media, posting pictures of themselves wasted. You need this? You can love him. Love costs no money. It makes no demands. It just is. You also can learn to love yourself. Do not spend your retirement on him. He will not be there to help you if you need him. Maybe focus on your marriage, go on a second honeymoon. Hang with kind, clean loved ones and friends and count your blessings. You matter. Love and light! [/QUOTE]
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