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Nervous breakdown? What should I do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 417414" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>(((hugs))) Steely</p><p></p><p>I've not read the other replies. </p><p></p><p>As one who has survived too much grief, drama, and all around crud........... I can't tell you the answers for you. All I can tell you is what works for me. And I use "works" as life or someone up above seems to think it's interesting to see just how much crud I can handle......so it's an ongoing thing. </p><p></p><p>Life goes on. It truly does. And as it does, you heal. It's good to feel the grief, anger, sadness when it pops up...........but it's also healthy and good to smile and laugh and do things that you enjoy doing without guilt or shame that those you've lost won't enjoy those things anymore. In you, their lives have meaning and their memories live on forever. My grandma used to tell me that if I could continue to live on and live a good happy life, then it was a tribute to her. And she firmly believed that it was that way for any loved one. I've seen over the many many years since her passing that this is true.</p><p></p><p>With each person I've lost I've allowed myself to feel the loss, but I also tend to smother myself in their memory for a short time. As a family we share stories.....as many as we can possibly remember and we laugh and cry together. In my opinion the laughter is very important as so many people during a time of grief feel that to laugh or even smile, to feel pleasure of any sort is somehow a betrayal of the person they've lost. But our loved ones would not want to see us suffering. The stories, for us in our family, are a celebration of that person's life. And the laughter reminds us that it is ok to be happy, that the grief is not supposed to last forever. So then, we get up each day and do what we would normally do. At first it feels awkward and strange. But the more you do and the longer you do it the more normal it begins to feel.....and life continues to move you forward. I have a very firm belief that I will see those I've lost again.....and when I do, I don't want to have to face them with the knowledge that I wasted the gift of life that I was given.</p><p></p><p>As for my past garbage. I know it happened. I've dealt with it, I've made my peace with it. It doesn't matter if anyone else acknowledges it or not. That is not important. I know the truth. It's over, in the past, and those people nor anyone else can ever hurt me like that again.</p><p></p><p>With the continual drama and crud life seems to forever love to dump in my path.....I deal with what I can deal with and I let the rest go and go on with my life. I am human, I'm but one person. I neither want nor seek anyone's approval. I'm me, take it or leave it.</p><p></p><p>Me? I have come to accept and know the person I am......and I like myself. I savor the simple moments and the little pleasures. Material things really hold little value to me. I enjoy my kids, grandkids, furbabies and all the zillion simple moments and pleasures they give me. And I hope I give them many many in return. </p><p></p><p>In crisis? I get up and just put one foot in front of the other and Do what needs to be done along with the day to day routine. I do it even when I don't feel it. I do it when I don't want to do it, when I want to bury my head under the covers and hide from the world. I plod along doing until the crisis is resolved and life begins to feel "normal" again. And while I'm plodding I look (sometimes actively search) for reasons to smile and laugh and for the little pleasures because it makes the whole process bearable.</p><p></p><p>This is what I do. I can't tell you what you should do. Although I've discovered that for me.....I can yak to tdocs and take medications until I'm blue in the face.....but unless I'm doing what I just stated above.......I tend to spin my wheels.</p><p></p><p>I really truly hope that you can find your way past the grief and trauma and move forward to enjoy the life you've been given.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 417414, member: 84"] (((hugs))) Steely I've not read the other replies. As one who has survived too much grief, drama, and all around crud........... I can't tell you the answers for you. All I can tell you is what works for me. And I use "works" as life or someone up above seems to think it's interesting to see just how much crud I can handle......so it's an ongoing thing. Life goes on. It truly does. And as it does, you heal. It's good to feel the grief, anger, sadness when it pops up...........but it's also healthy and good to smile and laugh and do things that you enjoy doing without guilt or shame that those you've lost won't enjoy those things anymore. In you, their lives have meaning and their memories live on forever. My grandma used to tell me that if I could continue to live on and live a good happy life, then it was a tribute to her. And she firmly believed that it was that way for any loved one. I've seen over the many many years since her passing that this is true. With each person I've lost I've allowed myself to feel the loss, but I also tend to smother myself in their memory for a short time. As a family we share stories.....as many as we can possibly remember and we laugh and cry together. In my opinion the laughter is very important as so many people during a time of grief feel that to laugh or even smile, to feel pleasure of any sort is somehow a betrayal of the person they've lost. But our loved ones would not want to see us suffering. The stories, for us in our family, are a celebration of that person's life. And the laughter reminds us that it is ok to be happy, that the grief is not supposed to last forever. So then, we get up each day and do what we would normally do. At first it feels awkward and strange. But the more you do and the longer you do it the more normal it begins to feel.....and life continues to move you forward. I have a very firm belief that I will see those I've lost again.....and when I do, I don't want to have to face them with the knowledge that I wasted the gift of life that I was given. As for my past garbage. I know it happened. I've dealt with it, I've made my peace with it. It doesn't matter if anyone else acknowledges it or not. That is not important. I know the truth. It's over, in the past, and those people nor anyone else can ever hurt me like that again. With the continual drama and crud life seems to forever love to dump in my path.....I deal with what I can deal with and I let the rest go and go on with my life. I am human, I'm but one person. I neither want nor seek anyone's approval. I'm me, take it or leave it. Me? I have come to accept and know the person I am......and I like myself. I savor the simple moments and the little pleasures. Material things really hold little value to me. I enjoy my kids, grandkids, furbabies and all the zillion simple moments and pleasures they give me. And I hope I give them many many in return. In crisis? I get up and just put one foot in front of the other and Do what needs to be done along with the day to day routine. I do it even when I don't feel it. I do it when I don't want to do it, when I want to bury my head under the covers and hide from the world. I plod along doing until the crisis is resolved and life begins to feel "normal" again. And while I'm plodding I look (sometimes actively search) for reasons to smile and laugh and for the little pleasures because it makes the whole process bearable. This is what I do. I can't tell you what you should do. Although I've discovered that for me.....I can yak to tdocs and take medications until I'm blue in the face.....but unless I'm doing what I just stated above.......I tend to spin my wheels. I really truly hope that you can find your way past the grief and trauma and move forward to enjoy the life you've been given. [/QUOTE]
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