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Substance Abuse
NEVER ENDING DRAMA...
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<blockquote data-quote="Jabberwockey" data-source="post: 653635" data-attributes="member: 18238"><p>We are going through something similar with our child although he is only 20. The fact of the matter is that while he is your son, he is also a grown man who is only a few years younger than me. You cant help him until he wants help. Right now he wants handouts, not help. He wants you to take care of everything for him and that is unreasonable. While I would consider your husbands reaction saying that he would leave if the Difficult Child moved back in, I only have this small bit of information to go by. I am assuming that this has been an ongoing issue for years.</p><p></p><p>Your son wont grow up until he is forced to and that means cutting him off almost completely. NO CASH! This will only be spent on drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes and NONE of these items are necessary for daily life. I've only recently quit smoking again and I can assure you that if it came down to cigarettes or paying my bills, guess what gets done?!?! Read up on the posts from Lil (my wife) and I about renting our son an apartment when he had a job. Let him be homeless until he is tired of being homeless and willing to work, then be cautious about what help you give. Above all, please dont loose your husband over a grown man who should be prepping to get his own children out of the house but instead wants to be treated like a child himself. He is a grown man, treat him as such and hopefully he will start acting as such. Yeah, sounds easy. Get help for yourselves, marriage counselor, regular counselor, Al Anon, CODA, whatever you have available and what works for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jabberwockey, post: 653635, member: 18238"] We are going through something similar with our child although he is only 20. The fact of the matter is that while he is your son, he is also a grown man who is only a few years younger than me. You cant help him until he wants help. Right now he wants handouts, not help. He wants you to take care of everything for him and that is unreasonable. While I would consider your husbands reaction saying that he would leave if the Difficult Child moved back in, I only have this small bit of information to go by. I am assuming that this has been an ongoing issue for years. Your son wont grow up until he is forced to and that means cutting him off almost completely. NO CASH! This will only be spent on drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes and NONE of these items are necessary for daily life. I've only recently quit smoking again and I can assure you that if it came down to cigarettes or paying my bills, guess what gets done?!?! Read up on the posts from Lil (my wife) and I about renting our son an apartment when he had a job. Let him be homeless until he is tired of being homeless and willing to work, then be cautious about what help you give. Above all, please dont loose your husband over a grown man who should be prepping to get his own children out of the house but instead wants to be treated like a child himself. He is a grown man, treat him as such and hopefully he will start acting as such. Yeah, sounds easy. Get help for yourselves, marriage counselor, regular counselor, Al Anon, CODA, whatever you have available and what works for you. [/QUOTE]
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