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General Parenting
New and a very tired parent
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 389504"><p>I too wondered about drugs, but then those of us who had that as our first thought have teens who have drug problems. I will say that when my son started seriously smoking pot a LOT of it was done at school and during school. So he may be doing it there or getting it there. AND there are other reasons why teens behave like your son without it being drugs, but it is something you want to keep an eye out for.</p><p></p><p>I also think this is the age where boys in particular need to find a way to separate from their moms. I think this can be a hard process for some boys. A certain amount of needing privacy, time alone etc is totally normal teenage development. I think it is also a time where teens want to develop a sensen of independence and self determination and really resent any feeling that they are being controlled. So I would think a bit about the ares you can let him have control and areas where you can't. For me personally I would leave his room alone, let that be his space and let him have it clean or messy as he likes.... short of things like leaving food around and getting ants to something. At the same time hold him accountable for the chores he needs to be doing for the family.... I have never been all that good at this so I can't really tell you how to do this just that you should. LOL.</p><p></p><p>And of course you are not a horrid mom, your feelings sound familiar to me for sure.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 389504"] I too wondered about drugs, but then those of us who had that as our first thought have teens who have drug problems. I will say that when my son started seriously smoking pot a LOT of it was done at school and during school. So he may be doing it there or getting it there. AND there are other reasons why teens behave like your son without it being drugs, but it is something you want to keep an eye out for. I also think this is the age where boys in particular need to find a way to separate from their moms. I think this can be a hard process for some boys. A certain amount of needing privacy, time alone etc is totally normal teenage development. I think it is also a time where teens want to develop a sensen of independence and self determination and really resent any feeling that they are being controlled. So I would think a bit about the ares you can let him have control and areas where you can't. For me personally I would leave his room alone, let that be his space and let him have it clean or messy as he likes.... short of things like leaving food around and getting ants to something. At the same time hold him accountable for the chores he needs to be doing for the family.... I have never been all that good at this so I can't really tell you how to do this just that you should. LOL. And of course you are not a horrid mom, your feelings sound familiar to me for sure. [/QUOTE]
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