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NEW and falling apart at the seams; need help!
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<blockquote data-quote="3babygirls" data-source="post: 45259" data-attributes="member: 3759"><p>First I'd like to say thank you to all of you. I will venture out tomorrow to get this book I have heard so much about. All of you had some very good input. I think I am gonna feel very comfortable here; at least it's a place to escape and vent. :smile:</p><p></p><p>SRL; to answer your question about her behaviors at age 3-4...initially it wasn't me who saw anything to be concerned about because she was after all only 3-4 yrs old. BUT the daycare and preschool she attended at the time were constantly telling me that she was "uncooperative, did not follow rules she clearly knew she was breaking...blah blah blah. My initial reaction was...and??? I just saw her as being much different than my oldest daughter at that point. But she had been very very different from my first child from the beginning. My difficult child never slept well for me, was always fussy, took much longer to potty train-up until she was 6 she'd wet the bed and her reason was she'd be too tired to get up to go to the restroom. She never ate well for me and I'd constantly have to make deals to get through a meal-even to this day it's a big challenge to get her to sit at the table without trying to play or draw or make excuses to get up. When she was 3-4 I started to notice things the daycare pointed out like that she'd get very withdrawn from activities. She'd never try anything she didn't know how to play or do because she was constantly afraid kids would laugh at her. She had this crush on this little boy in preschool that I thought rather peculiar for a 4 year old but nontheless I found it adoreable. Unfortunately the day care did not and told me and the other parent they did not like that the kids were so affectionate wanting to hug and give kisses. They were innocent kisses that you give to your child nothing inappropriate-but the day care disagreed. My daughter would get upset if another child played with this little boy or if he'd sit next to anyone else during play time or lunch. THAT concerned me. Eventually we switched day care's because of a change in location but it always seems she develops a crush and the older she's getting it seems a bit more over the top to my standards for her age. I've noticed a low self esteem in her. She's extremely sensitive to what kids think of her. Sometimes kids at even an early age can be cruel sometimes just out of jealousy and I tried to explain this to her. I tried to tell her sometimes kids might be mean because she may have more toys than they do, or because she dresses very nice for school or has a lot more friends...she doesn't seem to get it quite yet. She tends to continue to try to earn a "mean girls" friendship even when this person makes her feel bad. At 3-4 we still had the same issues she has now but they are just more intense at 7. We have had a big problem with her getting along with her 10 yr old sister. I can't really remember them ever really liking each other; they rarely get along. When she was 5 we had a problem with her taking things that didn't belong to her and lying about it. How I finally got it to stop was when I showed her the stores have secret cameras that watch us while we shop and that if you take something from someone or a store the police will take you to jail and you will never see mommy again. I don't think she really believed me until a guy in our neighborhood got caught shop lifting and was taken to jail. All of a sudden the stealing stopped. She never would sleep even when I knew she had to be exhausted. To this day if I put her to bed at 9 she will sneak a flashlight to bed, turn on a nightlight or her tv and just start playing until I catch her and freak out. We disconnected her cable and unplugged her tv that is on a wall stand thinking this would solve that problem but she'd climb her dresser and turn into the cable guy to get it back on. Finally we had to physically take out the tv on school nights to get her to go to bed but even that didn't stop her from going into her bathroom with coloring books. These are the more minor examples. If I'm helping her with homework and it's something I know he knows how to do she will purposely write the wrong answer or make the letter wrong; then when I tell her "it's incorrect" she'll get angry, whine and press the eraser so hard on the paper until she damages it. In school she's already stopped in the middle of a lesson with the teacher, took toys out of her backpack and started playing without any regard that the teacher was in the middle of class. She'll ask to go to the bathroom at school, disappear for a long time and when they go to find her she was playing in the stairwell. She clearly knows this is unacceptable so why does she continue to do it????</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="3babygirls, post: 45259, member: 3759"] First I'd like to say thank you to all of you. I will venture out tomorrow to get this book I have heard so much about. All of you had some very good input. I think I am gonna feel very comfortable here; at least it's a place to escape and vent. [img]:smile:[/img] SRL; to answer your question about her behaviors at age 3-4...initially it wasn't me who saw anything to be concerned about because she was after all only 3-4 yrs old. BUT the daycare and preschool she attended at the time were constantly telling me that she was "uncooperative, did not follow rules she clearly knew she was breaking...blah blah blah. My initial reaction was...and??? I just saw her as being much different than my oldest daughter at that point. But she had been very very different from my first child from the beginning. My difficult child never slept well for me, was always fussy, took much longer to potty train-up until she was 6 she'd wet the bed and her reason was she'd be too tired to get up to go to the restroom. She never ate well for me and I'd constantly have to make deals to get through a meal-even to this day it's a big challenge to get her to sit at the table without trying to play or draw or make excuses to get up. When she was 3-4 I started to notice things the daycare pointed out like that she'd get very withdrawn from activities. She'd never try anything she didn't know how to play or do because she was constantly afraid kids would laugh at her. She had this crush on this little boy in preschool that I thought rather peculiar for a 4 year old but nontheless I found it adoreable. Unfortunately the day care did not and told me and the other parent they did not like that the kids were so affectionate wanting to hug and give kisses. They were innocent kisses that you give to your child nothing inappropriate-but the day care disagreed. My daughter would get upset if another child played with this little boy or if he'd sit next to anyone else during play time or lunch. THAT concerned me. Eventually we switched day care's because of a change in location but it always seems she develops a crush and the older she's getting it seems a bit more over the top to my standards for her age. I've noticed a low self esteem in her. She's extremely sensitive to what kids think of her. Sometimes kids at even an early age can be cruel sometimes just out of jealousy and I tried to explain this to her. I tried to tell her sometimes kids might be mean because she may have more toys than they do, or because she dresses very nice for school or has a lot more friends...she doesn't seem to get it quite yet. She tends to continue to try to earn a "mean girls" friendship even when this person makes her feel bad. At 3-4 we still had the same issues she has now but they are just more intense at 7. We have had a big problem with her getting along with her 10 yr old sister. I can't really remember them ever really liking each other; they rarely get along. When she was 5 we had a problem with her taking things that didn't belong to her and lying about it. How I finally got it to stop was when I showed her the stores have secret cameras that watch us while we shop and that if you take something from someone or a store the police will take you to jail and you will never see mommy again. I don't think she really believed me until a guy in our neighborhood got caught shop lifting and was taken to jail. All of a sudden the stealing stopped. She never would sleep even when I knew she had to be exhausted. To this day if I put her to bed at 9 she will sneak a flashlight to bed, turn on a nightlight or her tv and just start playing until I catch her and freak out. We disconnected her cable and unplugged her tv that is on a wall stand thinking this would solve that problem but she'd climb her dresser and turn into the cable guy to get it back on. Finally we had to physically take out the tv on school nights to get her to go to bed but even that didn't stop her from going into her bathroom with coloring books. These are the more minor examples. If I'm helping her with homework and it's something I know he knows how to do she will purposely write the wrong answer or make the letter wrong; then when I tell her "it's incorrect" she'll get angry, whine and press the eraser so hard on the paper until she damages it. In school she's already stopped in the middle of a lesson with the teacher, took toys out of her backpack and started playing without any regard that the teacher was in the middle of class. She'll ask to go to the bathroom at school, disappear for a long time and when they go to find her she was playing in the stairwell. She clearly knows this is unacceptable so why does she continue to do it???? [/QUOTE]
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