Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
New and Frustrated
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 514334" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Welcome aboard. Glad you found us. Sorry you needed to search us out. Boy, I sure wish I had an outstanding answer to give you for the problems. I've been around for over a decade and I assure you that many stepmoms have posted with similar, if not identifcal, problems at home. Most of the time there is one or more difficult child's from the husband's first marriage and then one or two added biokids.</p><p></p><p>Based on their shared experiences often the much loved husband has passed off the parental responsibilities, steps in during times of crisis if the work schedule allows and perceives that the Mom should be able to handle it all. Most often they have backed off parenting responsibilities in their first marriages due to the mental health/drug issues that were displayed or present with wife #1. It doesn't mean they are bad men. It means they don't understand or accept that it takes the combined in sync skills of both parents to have a healthy family.</p><p></p><p>It's good that you have home family therapy lined up. Will your husband be there each and every session? I imagine it is going to conflict with his work schedule. The primary way to get the healthiest family unit (true for substance abuse issues as well as mental health/behavioral issues) is for both parents to get on the same page. You really have to be united in order to change the dynamics in your home. This provides a united front for the children and as a result gives them a sense of safety that they really can't get when different responses and methods are used.</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile I think your idea of an afterschool program is brilliant. It will benefit the whole family in a number of ways. Your difficult child will be busy in a healthy environment. Your easy child will not be exposed to victimization and chaos. You will not have to hold your breath in fear that things will get out of hand when you are alone. in my humble opinion, it's a win/win. Obviously the end of the day will be far more normal for the everyone as you and your husband will be partners in the nightly rituals. I'd suggest that you present the idea in a positive light as your husband "may" think you're just trying to get rid of difficult child. That is not the goal. The goal is to get a healthy happy family unit that functions in a normal way.</p><p></p><p>I very sincerely send caring thoughts of support your way. Things will not change for the better unless you lovingly insist on a united front with your life partner. It's not fair to you, difficult child or easy child to continue on the current road. Hugs DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 514334, member: 35"] Welcome aboard. Glad you found us. Sorry you needed to search us out. Boy, I sure wish I had an outstanding answer to give you for the problems. I've been around for over a decade and I assure you that many stepmoms have posted with similar, if not identifcal, problems at home. Most of the time there is one or more difficult child's from the husband's first marriage and then one or two added biokids. Based on their shared experiences often the much loved husband has passed off the parental responsibilities, steps in during times of crisis if the work schedule allows and perceives that the Mom should be able to handle it all. Most often they have backed off parenting responsibilities in their first marriages due to the mental health/drug issues that were displayed or present with wife #1. It doesn't mean they are bad men. It means they don't understand or accept that it takes the combined in sync skills of both parents to have a healthy family. It's good that you have home family therapy lined up. Will your husband be there each and every session? I imagine it is going to conflict with his work schedule. The primary way to get the healthiest family unit (true for substance abuse issues as well as mental health/behavioral issues) is for both parents to get on the same page. You really have to be united in order to change the dynamics in your home. This provides a united front for the children and as a result gives them a sense of safety that they really can't get when different responses and methods are used. Meanwhile I think your idea of an afterschool program is brilliant. It will benefit the whole family in a number of ways. Your difficult child will be busy in a healthy environment. Your easy child will not be exposed to victimization and chaos. You will not have to hold your breath in fear that things will get out of hand when you are alone. in my humble opinion, it's a win/win. Obviously the end of the day will be far more normal for the everyone as you and your husband will be partners in the nightly rituals. I'd suggest that you present the idea in a positive light as your husband "may" think you're just trying to get rid of difficult child. That is not the goal. The goal is to get a healthy happy family unit that functions in a normal way. I very sincerely send caring thoughts of support your way. Things will not change for the better unless you lovingly insist on a united front with your life partner. It's not fair to you, difficult child or easy child to continue on the current road. Hugs DDD [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
New and Frustrated
Top