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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 514627" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>It says so much to me that when you use these consistent behavioral strategies that he does well. That need for structure and fair discipline must be in him somewhere. It sounds like you have such a good feel for the real issues going on in this young man. In my learning about attachment etc. One big difference in discipline was not using so much of the negotiating or collaborative problem solving with the child for at least the early time. What I think they told me the main reason is that these kids missed out on that phase /step where they have mom consistently (I say mom because early on it often is mom ) making all the choices that build trust. The choices that keep them feeling well fed, not over tired, healthy, comforted, secure /not afraid and typically happy. You said you feel that attachment could be an issue I think? Seeing how you "get" him I bet your instincts are better than bio parents or any docs/therapists. Not a skill you probably ever wanted to develop but he is lucky you have it. Probably his best chance is whatever programs or therapies are used....if they listen to you. Just seems like that to me. Long way to say you are impressive.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 514627, member: 12886"] It says so much to me that when you use these consistent behavioral strategies that he does well. That need for structure and fair discipline must be in him somewhere. It sounds like you have such a good feel for the real issues going on in this young man. In my learning about attachment etc. One big difference in discipline was not using so much of the negotiating or collaborative problem solving with the child for at least the early time. What I think they told me the main reason is that these kids missed out on that phase /step where they have mom consistently (I say mom because early on it often is mom ) making all the choices that build trust. The choices that keep them feeling well fed, not over tired, healthy, comforted, secure /not afraid and typically happy. You said you feel that attachment could be an issue I think? Seeing how you "get" him I bet your instincts are better than bio parents or any docs/therapists. Not a skill you probably ever wanted to develop but he is lucky you have it. Probably his best chance is whatever programs or therapies are used....if they listen to you. Just seems like that to me. Long way to say you are impressive. [/QUOTE]
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