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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 425448" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>welcome....... you've found a great place, yet sorry you had to find us!</p><p> </p><p>well i'm going thru pretty much the same exact thing, yet replace the drugs with alcohol, and she's not at her dad's she's living with her friends' mother against our will and wants for her.</p><p> </p><p>i've learned sooo much through my journey in this....... go to the forum for kids over 18 or out of the house. i have a thread there. learning slowly and a few others..... may help you. i've gotten some great advice here and am working with a therapist.</p><p> </p><p>it's hard to see your kid go out there before their ready. mine moved out two weeks ago, and it's been soo hard. i cried alot in the beginning as i'm sure you will, I also felt a sense of relief as well that there would be no more blow ups in our home due to her. she was like a loose cannon.</p><p> </p><p>for us we tried to put her in therapy and give her an ssri to calm the rage she has within. i dont' know if her dad would be willing to do that. for us we feel that this other parent allowing her to live there, feed her, provide shelter is enabling her to continue making bad choices.</p><p> </p><p>is your ex ready to set rules, stick to them...... or he wants to play the "good" parent and give her what she wants?? is there anyway to show him hes' just enabling her??</p><p> </p><p>try to learn from my mistakes of the last week to save yourself anguish and grief. our goal is to get her home, get her help etc. yet i've made some choices that dont' add up to my eventual goal. i took care of her still, took her to doctor's etc. i had to do a total disconnect except for time spent together (with rules also) that there would be zero blow ups, and that if there were she'd be removed or we'd remove ourselves......</p><p> </p><p>it's not easy, yet from what i'm hearing this too shall pass</p><p> </p><p>good luck hang in there</p><p> </p><p>(((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 425448, member: 4514"] welcome....... you've found a great place, yet sorry you had to find us! well i'm going thru pretty much the same exact thing, yet replace the drugs with alcohol, and she's not at her dad's she's living with her friends' mother against our will and wants for her. i've learned sooo much through my journey in this....... go to the forum for kids over 18 or out of the house. i have a thread there. learning slowly and a few others..... may help you. i've gotten some great advice here and am working with a therapist. it's hard to see your kid go out there before their ready. mine moved out two weeks ago, and it's been soo hard. i cried alot in the beginning as i'm sure you will, I also felt a sense of relief as well that there would be no more blow ups in our home due to her. she was like a loose cannon. for us we tried to put her in therapy and give her an ssri to calm the rage she has within. i dont' know if her dad would be willing to do that. for us we feel that this other parent allowing her to live there, feed her, provide shelter is enabling her to continue making bad choices. is your ex ready to set rules, stick to them...... or he wants to play the "good" parent and give her what she wants?? is there anyway to show him hes' just enabling her?? try to learn from my mistakes of the last week to save yourself anguish and grief. our goal is to get her home, get her help etc. yet i've made some choices that dont' add up to my eventual goal. i took care of her still, took her to doctor's etc. i had to do a total disconnect except for time spent together (with rules also) that there would be zero blow ups, and that if there were she'd be removed or we'd remove ourselves...... it's not easy, yet from what i'm hearing this too shall pass good luck hang in there (((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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