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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 533880" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Except in Wisconsin (my state) and Pennsylvania you can dissolve an adoption. In this case, the child would probably get more services if he were in state care. And he desperately needs those services. You can not afford what he needs, but the state can.</p><p></p><p>We were able to undo our adoption because a judge read the gruesome details and was so positive that our other kids should not be traumatized by this child ever again that he gave us that option...and we took it. We could not save R., but we could certainly give a safe, loving home to the other two children. by the way, for those who don't k now, the other two were also adopted. This is NOT a message against adoptioin.</p><p></p><p>I do feel that if you have younger children, the children you adopt should always younger and much smaller so that they can't be threatened or intimidated. This child we adopted is not as rare as one would think. Many have been sexually abused and act out, even if they don't remember the abuse, as our R. did not. He was absolutely clueless and remorseless about why he did it or what he'd done. In a way, he was the biggest victim...and now he is a father and I'm sure he will create more victims.</p><p></p><p>What you call molestation could be sex. This boy had sex with my five year old. She was tested and her hymen was broken and it looked as if there had been penetration (in other ways). My little girl Jumper is not a virgin because of him and he was so sneaky (from years of practice) that every adult he met just loved him. Do you know hard it is not to report that he has not signed up as a sexual predator in our state? He is supposed to and has not. He was busted for not signing up one time (we checked his court records), yet he did it again and now he has two babies.</p><p></p><p>But we are all terrified of him. He is six feet tall now, 21, and lives in Green Bay, two hours away. We are afraid if we report him, he'll think of us and try to find us (we have moved since). I think about his poor little girls all the time, but our family has decided to let him be because he knows our children told the judge what he'd done and he has a violent temper. We don't know what he'd do if he was reminded of us again and got angry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 533880, member: 1550"] Except in Wisconsin (my state) and Pennsylvania you can dissolve an adoption. In this case, the child would probably get more services if he were in state care. And he desperately needs those services. You can not afford what he needs, but the state can. We were able to undo our adoption because a judge read the gruesome details and was so positive that our other kids should not be traumatized by this child ever again that he gave us that option...and we took it. We could not save R., but we could certainly give a safe, loving home to the other two children. by the way, for those who don't k now, the other two were also adopted. This is NOT a message against adoptioin. I do feel that if you have younger children, the children you adopt should always younger and much smaller so that they can't be threatened or intimidated. This child we adopted is not as rare as one would think. Many have been sexually abused and act out, even if they don't remember the abuse, as our R. did not. He was absolutely clueless and remorseless about why he did it or what he'd done. In a way, he was the biggest victim...and now he is a father and I'm sure he will create more victims. What you call molestation could be sex. This boy had sex with my five year old. She was tested and her hymen was broken and it looked as if there had been penetration (in other ways). My little girl Jumper is not a virgin because of him and he was so sneaky (from years of practice) that every adult he met just loved him. Do you know hard it is not to report that he has not signed up as a sexual predator in our state? He is supposed to and has not. He was busted for not signing up one time (we checked his court records), yet he did it again and now he has two babies. But we are all terrified of him. He is six feet tall now, 21, and lives in Green Bay, two hours away. We are afraid if we report him, he'll think of us and try to find us (we have moved since). I think about his poor little girls all the time, but our family has decided to let him be because he knows our children told the judge what he'd done and he has a violent temper. We don't know what he'd do if he was reminded of us again and got angry. [/QUOTE]
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