New and in need of support

[swilliamson79]

well I must start out by saying that my ds is 9 and has been under going medication treatment for about 2 years, but have never really got any control on it. Over those two years we have began seeing increase of behaviors. Tearfullness, back talking and the last stunt sneaking out of the house to walk to walmart (3 or more miles away) to buy a video game. Thank god someone noticed him and called the cops and was returned home safely. He states he knew this was not a good behavior, but he wanted to go shopping. Anyway, my husband and i are at are witts end. He has no real chores to speak of, we gave up a year ago. All we really require out of him is homework (LOL) and to be polite. He is a people pleaser and really a good kid at heart. I am so scarred that things are going to get worse. He currently is seeing a pyscritist and pyscogolist. Which are the best in are area, but still dont seem to be what we really need. The closest thing from the CHADD site is over 3 hours away. Oh did i forget to mention he also doesnt sleep and has started medications for that. We just got his IQ test back and the total score was 108. It even states in the paperwork that "he does not like putting penicl to paper" "he may learn more resdily when information is presented in conjunction with visual aides and when given opportunities to engage in hands on activities." Our local school system also states to me that adhd is not a learning disbility - it's social disability! I call BS!

I am looking or any advice or links for information to help us remain sane in our home. I really am getting to the point i dont know how much more i can take of the yelling to get things done. It seems to be the only way to get him to listen.

 

[slsh]

Hi and welcome! I'm glad you found us.

You're probably going to be peppered with more questions than suggestions at first so we can get a feel for where you're at with your son. Bear with us.

What is your son's diagnosis, and what medications is he on? Who diagnosed him (psychiatrist, pediatrician, neurologist)? At what age?

Is there a family history of mood disorders, depression, substance abuse, alcoholism? Those can be (but aren't always) an indication that there's more than "just" ADHD going on. Children with mood disorders don't usually present with- the same kinds of symptoms that adults do.

Your school district (SD).... sigh. I believe you've called that situation right. It sometimes takes an almighty battle to get them to do their jobs when it comes to children with emotional/behavioral/learning disorders. I wish I could say I'm surprised that they'd call ADHD a "social disability" but unfortunately, I'm not. Have they done a multidisciplinary evaluation (full evaluation for Learning Disability (LD)'s and other potential areas of disability - done to determine if a child needs special education services)? If not, you need to request that one be done, via certified letter. If you check out our Special Education 100 archives, you'll find some excellent information and sample letters. You might also want to check in your area for Special Education advocates (they're usually free) - it may take more than a determined warrior mom to bring your SD into the 21st century.

It can be overwhelming as you try to get a more effective program in place, so I'd pick a priority (which sounds like it might be his home behaviors) and start with that. If the current therapist isn't helping so much, have you addressed that with him/her? Finding a therapist who is a good fit not only for our kids but for our family, and who also understands the behaviors we're dealing with and can offer useful strategies, can be a challenge. It may be time to look for someone else. It's daunting but when you do find the right person, it can do wonders.

Anyway - just some thoughts early this morning (pre-coffee so forgive me if I rambled, LOL). If you could make a signature http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8399 it would help us to keep your specifics straight and prevent us from asking you the same questions over and over.

Finally, we're just a group of parents who are in similar situations. We can offer suggestions and support, but we don't have "the answer". We do have an extraordinary group of folks with lots of different experiences and points of view. Take the information that you think you can use and don't worry about the rest.

Again - welcome!

 

[BusynMember]

Hi and welcome.

How old is he?

How was his early development...speech, toy play, eye contact, relating to same age peers. Does he know how to make friends? Any quirky behavior?

Who diagnosed him?

You may want to do a signature like I did.