Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
New and Loving you all.. asking for help 18 runaway daughter..
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Rhonda" data-source="post: 239569" data-attributes="member: 6732"><p>OMG! </p><p>Thank you all so very much for taking the time to read and respond. I have been reading every post over and over. You all are saying the things I have ben feeling (not always so clearly).</p><p> </p><p>To answer a couple of questions about her big change... My PTSD husband of 9 years who I still love had made some bad business choices and we lost everything. I did what I could to save our home but he was never the same. We moved from NC to MS where my parents were to help them out and to give my husband a new life and hopefully bring him out of his depression. This was the first time my daughter had been to public school but she truly loved it. </p><p> </p><p>I do not know what happened over the first year and a half but while I started my business and worked the snack stand at soccer games, my husband never got a job and became abusive and I put my foot down and made him leave. We divorced and now he is getting the help he needs. My daughter told me she heard our fights and that he was doing drugs while I was at work. She says that she brought them to him.. I just dont know. She has lied so much over the last three years that I did not know what to believe and none of the therapists could ever get enough out of her to be certain of anything either. But we had been in MS for almost a year when she started getting defiant. She does not slam doors or talk back, she just says nothing or lies and does what she wants to. Sometimes she tells me things that I really wish I did not know, maybe to hurt me, maybe her disability talking.</p><p> </p><p>The last three years has been harder than anything I thought I would ever go through. I can honestly say that being a mother and wife were the most important jobs I ever had and I treated them that way. I gave all of myself to them. I now think that the women who keep their own identity are the really smart ones. I was just such a strong person and had such a strong identity that I never gave a thought to losing it... and I almost did.. </p><p> </p><p>My daughter wrote me a letter before she left and it is so sad that I can hardly read it. But in a nut shell she states that she knows everything is her fault and that she has put so many walls up that she does not feel anymore. She said she was running away because she could not look in my face knowing that if I knew the truth about her and the things she has done, that all whe would see is disapointment and more heartbreak. She said she was leaving to spare me dealing with her anymore. And she told me how much she loves me.</p><p> </p><p>So yes... this is so very hard because I know that the letter was truth.. The life she is living is to punish herself for failing. I will take your advice.. I do think that only allowing her to come back if she will go to treatment is excellent advice. I had decided not to let the boyfriend come already, and I am an animal lover so I just think I will let her know that if she is gone more than 48 hours I will turn the dog in as abandoned.</p><p> </p><p>I suspect like "bran155" there will come a time that I will be picking her up from the jail and having to decide what to do with her. I have seriously considered having her comitted for her own safety... life really takes bad turns and we just have to learn to drive differently.. hope the road straightens out some day...</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Thanks again and I will keep you all posted! Hey and the first 15 years were incredibly awsome, I try to be thankful for that.</p><p> </p><p>Rhonda</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rhonda, post: 239569, member: 6732"] OMG! Thank you all so very much for taking the time to read and respond. I have been reading every post over and over. You all are saying the things I have ben feeling (not always so clearly). To answer a couple of questions about her big change... My PTSD husband of 9 years who I still love had made some bad business choices and we lost everything. I did what I could to save our home but he was never the same. We moved from NC to MS where my parents were to help them out and to give my husband a new life and hopefully bring him out of his depression. This was the first time my daughter had been to public school but she truly loved it. I do not know what happened over the first year and a half but while I started my business and worked the snack stand at soccer games, my husband never got a job and became abusive and I put my foot down and made him leave. We divorced and now he is getting the help he needs. My daughter told me she heard our fights and that he was doing drugs while I was at work. She says that she brought them to him.. I just dont know. She has lied so much over the last three years that I did not know what to believe and none of the therapists could ever get enough out of her to be certain of anything either. But we had been in MS for almost a year when she started getting defiant. She does not slam doors or talk back, she just says nothing or lies and does what she wants to. Sometimes she tells me things that I really wish I did not know, maybe to hurt me, maybe her disability talking. The last three years has been harder than anything I thought I would ever go through. I can honestly say that being a mother and wife were the most important jobs I ever had and I treated them that way. I gave all of myself to them. I now think that the women who keep their own identity are the really smart ones. I was just such a strong person and had such a strong identity that I never gave a thought to losing it... and I almost did.. My daughter wrote me a letter before she left and it is so sad that I can hardly read it. But in a nut shell she states that she knows everything is her fault and that she has put so many walls up that she does not feel anymore. She said she was running away because she could not look in my face knowing that if I knew the truth about her and the things she has done, that all whe would see is disapointment and more heartbreak. She said she was leaving to spare me dealing with her anymore. And she told me how much she loves me. So yes... this is so very hard because I know that the letter was truth.. The life she is living is to punish herself for failing. I will take your advice.. I do think that only allowing her to come back if she will go to treatment is excellent advice. I had decided not to let the boyfriend come already, and I am an animal lover so I just think I will let her know that if she is gone more than 48 hours I will turn the dog in as abandoned. I suspect like "bran155" there will come a time that I will be picking her up from the jail and having to decide what to do with her. I have seriously considered having her comitted for her own safety... life really takes bad turns and we just have to learn to drive differently.. hope the road straightens out some day... Thanks again and I will keep you all posted! Hey and the first 15 years were incredibly awsome, I try to be thankful for that. Rhonda [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
New and Loving you all.. asking for help 18 runaway daughter..
Top