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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 147068" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It's very unusual for someone to have ODD without there being some other underlying problem that could be contributing.</p><p></p><p>Serious suggestion (it's what I did) - get ALL the kids seen by one specialist at the same time. That way, any problems in common (due to either heredity or your parenting) can be observed, as well as issues each child may have individually.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, get a copy of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It could well be your parenting that has aggravated this. Not to say that you're not a good, strict, consistent parent - but with some kids, the parenting techniques that work so well for most kids, can be absolutely disastrous for others. You could hand your ODD child over to a "perfect parent" who has perfect children and they would have the same problems as you. The book provides alternative ideas and methods as well as reasons for why it works. I found it made my job so much easier, and so much more peaceful. Grab a copy from the library, or have a look at the discussion on this in Early Childhood (forum or archives).</p><p></p><p>It won't cure any underlying problem but it can help you understand it. It can also help you greatly reduce or even eliminate (with careful handling) the oppositional behaviour you observe. And with that out of the way, what is left is the underlying problem for which help is still required.</p><p></p><p>When you have a better idea of what you're dealing with, it's always easier to manage.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the site, we're all here to help each other.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 147068, member: 1991"] It's very unusual for someone to have ODD without there being some other underlying problem that could be contributing. Serious suggestion (it's what I did) - get ALL the kids seen by one specialist at the same time. That way, any problems in common (due to either heredity or your parenting) can be observed, as well as issues each child may have individually. In the meantime, get a copy of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It could well be your parenting that has aggravated this. Not to say that you're not a good, strict, consistent parent - but with some kids, the parenting techniques that work so well for most kids, can be absolutely disastrous for others. You could hand your ODD child over to a "perfect parent" who has perfect children and they would have the same problems as you. The book provides alternative ideas and methods as well as reasons for why it works. I found it made my job so much easier, and so much more peaceful. Grab a copy from the library, or have a look at the discussion on this in Early Childhood (forum or archives). It won't cure any underlying problem but it can help you understand it. It can also help you greatly reduce or even eliminate (with careful handling) the oppositional behaviour you observe. And with that out of the way, what is left is the underlying problem for which help is still required. When you have a better idea of what you're dealing with, it's always easier to manage. Welcome to the site, we're all here to help each other. Marg [/QUOTE]
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