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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 147335" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Hi and welcome!</p><p> </p><p>I echo Smallword's questions. Sometimes we need a tad bit more info to offer input. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p> </p><p>I do want to say that when we have a child (or children) with challenging behaviors, our parenting skills have to be tweaked. That's not to say that we've got poor parenting skills, but we do have to kick it up a notch. I had 2 enormous areas that I had to work on - consistency and not reacting emotionally to my son's behaviors. Both of those areas took a very very long time to get down (most of the time - I still occasionally blow it). Consistency is a real bear for me - there were some days when I would let a behavior slide just because I was too wiped out to deal with one more thing, and then other days when I *would* address that same behavior. From a kid's perspective, it's massively confusing.</p><p> </p><p>I also fell into the trap of seeing my pcs' behaviors in difficult child terms and punishing as if they were difficult children. Totally *wrong* strategy in my family. My pcs respond to positive reinforcement so well, so appropriately (unlike my difficult child). When I was able to kind of split my parenting skills into one set for difficult child and another for the pcs, life got a whole *lot* better for all of us. </p><p> </p><p>Again, welcome!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 147335, member: 8"] Hi and welcome! I echo Smallword's questions. Sometimes we need a tad bit more info to offer input. ;) I do want to say that when we have a child (or children) with challenging behaviors, our parenting skills have to be tweaked. That's not to say that we've got poor parenting skills, but we do have to kick it up a notch. I had 2 enormous areas that I had to work on - consistency and not reacting emotionally to my son's behaviors. Both of those areas took a very very long time to get down (most of the time - I still occasionally blow it). Consistency is a real bear for me - there were some days when I would let a behavior slide just because I was too wiped out to deal with one more thing, and then other days when I *would* address that same behavior. From a kid's perspective, it's massively confusing. I also fell into the trap of seeing my pcs' behaviors in difficult child terms and punishing as if they were difficult children. Totally *wrong* strategy in my family. My pcs respond to positive reinforcement so well, so appropriately (unlike my difficult child). When I was able to kind of split my parenting skills into one set for difficult child and another for the pcs, life got a whole *lot* better for all of us. Again, welcome! [/QUOTE]
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