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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 334870" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>First off, welcome! We're glad you found us, but sorry you had to.</p><p> </p><p>Second, I have to say that you will do yourself and your daughter a favor if you simply let go of the guilt. It is NOT your fault. It is NOT her fault. No one judges you, no one blames you, and if anyone TRIES to, then that is someone you do NOT need in your life. The situation is what it is: something that was once misunderstood but is now being clarified so that you can put the right supports in place to help your daughter and move forward. This is simply a side street in the journey you set out on as her parent. Your goals for her are still the same, she will just likely reach them using a different map and a different route and a different timetable than you originally thought. It's not better, it's not worse, it's just different.</p><p> </p><p>Since you asked for advice on annnnny of the info you posted, I'm going to take a stab at the boyfriend topic. I think you should be up front about everything you've learned if he is truly someone you are serious about. And if he is someone you are truly serious about, I think you should expect him to be working a lot harder on his recovery before allowing the relationship to proceed much farther. You have enough on your plate dealing with your daughter, your career, and life in general without taking on the added worries of someone who is not fully committed to their recovery. Just my 2 cents based on very little knowledge!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 334870, member: 3444"] First off, welcome! We're glad you found us, but sorry you had to. Second, I have to say that you will do yourself and your daughter a favor if you simply let go of the guilt. It is NOT your fault. It is NOT her fault. No one judges you, no one blames you, and if anyone TRIES to, then that is someone you do NOT need in your life. The situation is what it is: something that was once misunderstood but is now being clarified so that you can put the right supports in place to help your daughter and move forward. This is simply a side street in the journey you set out on as her parent. Your goals for her are still the same, she will just likely reach them using a different map and a different route and a different timetable than you originally thought. It's not better, it's not worse, it's just different. Since you asked for advice on annnnny of the info you posted, I'm going to take a stab at the boyfriend topic. I think you should be up front about everything you've learned if he is truly someone you are serious about. And if he is someone you are truly serious about, I think you should expect him to be working a lot harder on his recovery before allowing the relationship to proceed much farther. You have enough on your plate dealing with your daughter, your career, and life in general without taking on the added worries of someone who is not fully committed to their recovery. Just my 2 cents based on very little knowledge! [/QUOTE]
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