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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 335175" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I can't tell you if your daughter will ever lead a normal life. But considering all the possibilities she could have had getting in her way, she has a very good to excellent chance.</p><p></p><p>it is up to her, largely. She may not want to go to college or uni. But if she does want to, and if there is a course she wants to do tat she is interested in, then there is no reason why she shouldn't.</p><p></p><p>You want success stories - think of Susan Boyle. She has had a low-level education because she was labelled "retarded" and "learning problems" at school. Add in shyness plus being a bullying target, and you can see she lived a very quiet life. She was the dutiful daughter who put her life on hold to care for her mother.</p><p></p><p>But when you listen to her interviews, you can hear the person she is. Where is the handicap? I listen to her and I hear a witty, funny, intelligent woman who has lived a sheltered life but not a sheltered workshop life. I bought her CD and when I listen to it I can hear just how much she has learned in a few short months, to greatly improve her vocal presentation.</p><p></p><p>Another success story - Temple Grandin. She is my inspiration. I have attended a conference where she was keynote speaker, plus read her books. She was noon-verbal as a youngster, the classic autistic kid oblivious to others and h=banging her head on the wall, flapping her hands. But she learned to talk, she learned to do a lot for herself, she got through her lessons and with support, she got to uni to study animal behaviour. She is now an Associate Professor at Colorado State, plus she does a great deal of freelance consultation work around the world.</p><p></p><p>She has needed a lot of support, she has also worked out a few things for herself, things tat help but which people wouldn't normally think of.</p><p></p><p>So for your daughter - of course there is potential there. And the more you support and encourage her, the better her chances.</p><p></p><p>A woman I know (a client of mine as well as a friend) was born with cerebral palsy (or so they thought). In those days they believed that it was linked to mental retardation. So she was simply left, at school. They didn't bother to teach her, if she couldn't keep up with the class ten she got left behind. She barely learned to read & write, had trouble with her hands anyway so holding a pencil was a problem. No IEP in those days, minimal support. Plus where educational support was available, she didn't get any because her parents felt she needed to learn to cope without support. (another friend of ours, born deaf, was not allowed to learn sign language and was sent to a "normal" school so he would learn to lip-read. Again, no accommodations. These days he's a builder and landscape designer, married with kids, also a public speaker).</p><p>My friend who was left and was illiterate - she left school when she was about 8 (nobody bothered with the truant office since she was considered retarded) and helped her mother in the family shop. She grew up, worked in a sheltered workshop, got married, had twin boys (after being told she shouldn't have kids) and is now divorced (she threw him out, but has recently taken him back, on her terms) and is working on her SECOND book. OK, I am helping a lot, but she has self-taught computer skills, spelling, reading, writing. She is amazing in how much she is still learning, every day.</p><p></p><p>I can't say your daughter will reach her milestones at the usual times. I just don't know. But her chance of reaching those milestones eventually - I would put in the high 90%s. But I haven't met her. The thing is, these days we understand that the brain is capable of amazing things.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 "failed" his first IQ test. We were told (when he was 4) that he would never attend a "normal" school and would not be ready for school, ANY school, for several years yet. But a year later he started at a normal school. They knew he was reading but didn't consider there was anything in that, other than "parrot-fashion" "idiot-savant" function. I was actually told that he wasn't really intelligent, he only seemed it because of these quirky imitative capabilities. Being able to recite chunks of text or the alphabet wasn't clever, if he wasn't otherwise talking.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 is still studying the same subjects as other kids his age. He may be a correspondence student, but it is a mainstream program. And in his best subject, Computing Skills, he scored 99% in the last exam. We believe he has a good career ahead of him, in IT.</p><p></p><p>Acronyms - difficult child = Gift From God, the child that brought you here. easy child = Perfect Child, although none of them are ever perfect. husband is Darling Husband. There is a link with all the info on the site.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 335175, member: 1991"] I can't tell you if your daughter will ever lead a normal life. But considering all the possibilities she could have had getting in her way, she has a very good to excellent chance. it is up to her, largely. She may not want to go to college or uni. But if she does want to, and if there is a course she wants to do tat she is interested in, then there is no reason why she shouldn't. You want success stories - think of Susan Boyle. She has had a low-level education because she was labelled "retarded" and "learning problems" at school. Add in shyness plus being a bullying target, and you can see she lived a very quiet life. She was the dutiful daughter who put her life on hold to care for her mother. But when you listen to her interviews, you can hear the person she is. Where is the handicap? I listen to her and I hear a witty, funny, intelligent woman who has lived a sheltered life but not a sheltered workshop life. I bought her CD and when I listen to it I can hear just how much she has learned in a few short months, to greatly improve her vocal presentation. Another success story - Temple Grandin. She is my inspiration. I have attended a conference where she was keynote speaker, plus read her books. She was noon-verbal as a youngster, the classic autistic kid oblivious to others and h=banging her head on the wall, flapping her hands. But she learned to talk, she learned to do a lot for herself, she got through her lessons and with support, she got to uni to study animal behaviour. She is now an Associate Professor at Colorado State, plus she does a great deal of freelance consultation work around the world. She has needed a lot of support, she has also worked out a few things for herself, things tat help but which people wouldn't normally think of. So for your daughter - of course there is potential there. And the more you support and encourage her, the better her chances. A woman I know (a client of mine as well as a friend) was born with cerebral palsy (or so they thought). In those days they believed that it was linked to mental retardation. So she was simply left, at school. They didn't bother to teach her, if she couldn't keep up with the class ten she got left behind. She barely learned to read & write, had trouble with her hands anyway so holding a pencil was a problem. No IEP in those days, minimal support. Plus where educational support was available, she didn't get any because her parents felt she needed to learn to cope without support. (another friend of ours, born deaf, was not allowed to learn sign language and was sent to a "normal" school so he would learn to lip-read. Again, no accommodations. These days he's a builder and landscape designer, married with kids, also a public speaker). My friend who was left and was illiterate - she left school when she was about 8 (nobody bothered with the truant office since she was considered retarded) and helped her mother in the family shop. She grew up, worked in a sheltered workshop, got married, had twin boys (after being told she shouldn't have kids) and is now divorced (she threw him out, but has recently taken him back, on her terms) and is working on her SECOND book. OK, I am helping a lot, but she has self-taught computer skills, spelling, reading, writing. She is amazing in how much she is still learning, every day. I can't say your daughter will reach her milestones at the usual times. I just don't know. But her chance of reaching those milestones eventually - I would put in the high 90%s. But I haven't met her. The thing is, these days we understand that the brain is capable of amazing things. difficult child 3 "failed" his first IQ test. We were told (when he was 4) that he would never attend a "normal" school and would not be ready for school, ANY school, for several years yet. But a year later he started at a normal school. They knew he was reading but didn't consider there was anything in that, other than "parrot-fashion" "idiot-savant" function. I was actually told that he wasn't really intelligent, he only seemed it because of these quirky imitative capabilities. Being able to recite chunks of text or the alphabet wasn't clever, if he wasn't otherwise talking. difficult child 3 is still studying the same subjects as other kids his age. He may be a correspondence student, but it is a mainstream program. And in his best subject, Computing Skills, he scored 99% in the last exam. We believe he has a good career ahead of him, in IT. Acronyms - difficult child = Gift From God, the child that brought you here. easy child = Perfect Child, although none of them are ever perfect. husband is Darling Husband. There is a link with all the info on the site. Marg [/QUOTE]
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