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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 752958" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>You alone must decide how involved you want to get. Nobody can advise you what to do. Your daughter will likely not appreciate anything you do for her, if she is like mine, and will withhold the grands when she wants to in order to punish you for whatever she decides you did wrong. This seems to be how our troubled kids operate...withholding the grands. Not treating us with any respect. Expecting us to care for them as if they are very young. Forgetting that we are getting older and deserve to rest.</p><p></p><p>I see no reason to pay your daughter for any reason. Buy for your grandson if you want. We did. I'm not sure we should have. At any rate, we are no longer allowed to be in his life. </p><p></p><p>We get from these very difficult kids whatever we ask for. They treat us the way we allow them to. And we all have our own levels of how far we will go and how much we will do and when we will stop, if ever. At one point I never dreamed of stopping. Mom never stops, right?</p><p></p><p>But Dad and Mom both did stop. Sometimes I still can't believe it.</p><p></p><p>Are you considering custody of the grands?</p><p></p><p>This is very hard, particularly having grands and not having custody. They can pull the rug out from under us if we get too attached. My daughter did, but we may soon have a court battle for custody of her child. Her sister would like to raise him and I can imagine how ugly that will get if it goes there...sister vs. sister.</p><p></p><p>God bless you in this new territory. It's so hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 752958, member: 23706"] You alone must decide how involved you want to get. Nobody can advise you what to do. Your daughter will likely not appreciate anything you do for her, if she is like mine, and will withhold the grands when she wants to in order to punish you for whatever she decides you did wrong. This seems to be how our troubled kids operate...withholding the grands. Not treating us with any respect. Expecting us to care for them as if they are very young. Forgetting that we are getting older and deserve to rest. I see no reason to pay your daughter for any reason. Buy for your grandson if you want. We did. I'm not sure we should have. At any rate, we are no longer allowed to be in his life. We get from these very difficult kids whatever we ask for. They treat us the way we allow them to. And we all have our own levels of how far we will go and how much we will do and when we will stop, if ever. At one point I never dreamed of stopping. Mom never stops, right? But Dad and Mom both did stop. Sometimes I still can't believe it. Are you considering custody of the grands? This is very hard, particularly having grands and not having custody. They can pull the rug out from under us if we get too attached. My daughter did, but we may soon have a court battle for custody of her child. Her sister would like to raise him and I can imagine how ugly that will get if it goes there...sister vs. sister. God bless you in this new territory. It's so hard. [/QUOTE]
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