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New here - 8yo son's anxiety exhausting
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 234621" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Hi Yoyo and welcome.</p><p> </p><p>Gosh, I'm wracking my brains on this one. I'm thinking with thank you at that age, you're describing my every morning. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> I do know that absolutely I had to keep him on eyes-on supervision or who knews what fresh disaster would be waiting for me. I think the last time I didn't supervise him, we ended up with red and blue wall stencil paint on a cream carpet, LOL. The good news is that someday you will be able to laugh about it too.</p><p> </p><p>I think the list thing is an excellent idea - or if not a list then maybe a simple chart using pictures? A bowl, clothes, a toothbrush, hair brush, shoes, book bag, etc. I did this with- my youngest son when he was in 2nd and 3rd grade because he was just a disorganized mess in the mornings. Kept the chart on his bedroom door and I would give him the right # of stickers to put next to the picture of the task he got done (no extra stickers 'cuz those would end up on the windows, walls, cats, etc). If he got thru a week with stickers by everything and I hadn't had to prompt him too much, he'd get a reward. In the beginning I gave a lot of cues - "go look at the list".</p><p> </p><p>Another thought might be to set aside a place every night where he gets all his stuff together (I know, can be hard with a kid whose mission in life is search and destroy). Maybe have him put shirt, shoes, pants, socks in the bathroom (hanging on a towel rack?) so it's all ready in the morning?</p><p> </p><p>It's really hard to balance teaching your kid to be self-sufficient with making sure that he gets everything done. I probably err on the side of excess supervision, but I'm a bit of a control freak. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> </p><p> </p><p>Do you have him help clean up the messes? I know, that might just provoke a meltdown but logical consequences... you make a mess you clean it up. There's also the whole boundary issue because it sounds like he's getting into stuff that he shouldn't be. Sigh... it's always a balancing act. </p><p> </p><p>Have you read The Explosive Child? I'm not big on self-help books with the exception of this one. It *really* is helpful in terms of giving us insight into how our kids think and how to prioritize which behaviors to address first. I highly recommend it.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway - it's late, I'm rambling. Welcome and I'm glad you found us!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 234621, member: 8"] Hi Yoyo and welcome. Gosh, I'm wracking my brains on this one. I'm thinking with thank you at that age, you're describing my every morning. ;) I do know that absolutely I had to keep him on eyes-on supervision or who knews what fresh disaster would be waiting for me. I think the last time I didn't supervise him, we ended up with red and blue wall stencil paint on a cream carpet, LOL. The good news is that someday you will be able to laugh about it too. I think the list thing is an excellent idea - or if not a list then maybe a simple chart using pictures? A bowl, clothes, a toothbrush, hair brush, shoes, book bag, etc. I did this with- my youngest son when he was in 2nd and 3rd grade because he was just a disorganized mess in the mornings. Kept the chart on his bedroom door and I would give him the right # of stickers to put next to the picture of the task he got done (no extra stickers 'cuz those would end up on the windows, walls, cats, etc). If he got thru a week with stickers by everything and I hadn't had to prompt him too much, he'd get a reward. In the beginning I gave a lot of cues - "go look at the list". Another thought might be to set aside a place every night where he gets all his stuff together (I know, can be hard with a kid whose mission in life is search and destroy). Maybe have him put shirt, shoes, pants, socks in the bathroom (hanging on a towel rack?) so it's all ready in the morning? It's really hard to balance teaching your kid to be self-sufficient with making sure that he gets everything done. I probably err on the side of excess supervision, but I'm a bit of a control freak. ;) Do you have him help clean up the messes? I know, that might just provoke a meltdown but logical consequences... you make a mess you clean it up. There's also the whole boundary issue because it sounds like he's getting into stuff that he shouldn't be. Sigh... it's always a balancing act. Have you read The Explosive Child? I'm not big on self-help books with the exception of this one. It *really* is helpful in terms of giving us insight into how our kids think and how to prioritize which behaviors to address first. I highly recommend it. Anyway - it's late, I'm rambling. Welcome and I'm glad you found us! [/QUOTE]
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