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New here - 8yo son's anxiety exhausting
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 235071" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>If you've had the top people looking at your son then I respect that they don't feel Asperger's is it. That's cool. I didn't realise just how much brainpower has already been thrown at this. I'm glad you have been able to access so much help, because it's nnot always available. The best paretns can be trying to beat down doors and still not et the information and access to diagnosticians that they need.</p><p></p><p>So if you look at tyour son and the areas where he is having difficulties, and look at it from the point of view not of diagnosis but of how he presents, that may be the best you can get for now.</p><p></p><p>We tried to get some really good answers re difficult child 1's weird memory problems, and we STILL havwen't got a lot of info even though he's almost 25. Crazy, really. However, the best answers we have got for him, came from a top-notch Speech pathologist. Ditto for difficult child 3. The SP analysed all the sub-tests and went into minute detail, even for areas where the boys scored within normal range. What she found was that if you look at WHERE the boys scored in the tests (on the low end of normal, or the extreme high end of normal) you got some apparently paradoxical results. When she analysed these a bit more, she was able to make some interesting conclusions; that is where we finally were told that difficult child 1's short-term memory is actually quite good, it is his attention and distractibility that is letting him down.</p><p></p><p>Yoyomama, my interest in helping you and your son remains undiminished, even if he has clearly had Asperger's ruled out. There are enough sub-similarities (the Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), the anxiety, for example) where what we have been through may be of use to you.</p><p></p><p>And that's pretty much how it works here - we toss ideas into the ring, we share what we've worked out for ourselves and sometimes things can be of use. And sometimes not.</p><p></p><p>Since my previous post, husband & I went to the beach for a quick swim. While we were there, a neighbour whose son is more severely autistic turned up with her kids. Her autistic son is now talking in sentences, I noticed. However, he is not making a lot of sense. I went over to talk to her and we compared notes. IN a lot of ways, I can't tell her anything because her experiences are too different. However, I was able to pass on to her an idea she had never been told about, mainly because it was just one of those things I worked out for myself. It's something she got really excited about because it will be a fun project to do, as well as probably really lovely for her son to have (a pictorial diary of a really fun day they had yesterday; even as she was mentioning it, the boy was coming out with phrases describing his wonderful day, I could hear how happy it had made him). </p><p></p><p>I'm not suggesting you do that - only saying, sometimes you can get about fifty incorrect or ineffective ideas, before a really good one comes along. And I might contribute most of those fifty, then someone else will read your responses and it will trigger something in them which produces the genius 51st.</p><p></p><p>I don't care if it's my idea, your idea or someone else's that clicks for you - if anything clicks and leads you to finding something you can really make use of, it's a win for all of us!</p><p></p><p>I guess because so many of us have been in the "It's bad parenting," or "He's just a naughty child" category, that we band together the way we do.</p><p></p><p>One huge thing I've got form thissite, is the courage to make the changes we had to make, and then the courage to stick with those decisions. As time has gone on, we've seen such improvement, it has been wonderful. But that early stage where I took some big chances - I could have backed down and reversed tose decisions with my tail between my legs. I am so glad I didn't.</p><p></p><p>I hope we can help, that some of the suggestions are ones you can use. If not, keep throwing in the problems you would have and we'll keep trying to find ways around it.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 235071, member: 1991"] If you've had the top people looking at your son then I respect that they don't feel Asperger's is it. That's cool. I didn't realise just how much brainpower has already been thrown at this. I'm glad you have been able to access so much help, because it's nnot always available. The best paretns can be trying to beat down doors and still not et the information and access to diagnosticians that they need. So if you look at tyour son and the areas where he is having difficulties, and look at it from the point of view not of diagnosis but of how he presents, that may be the best you can get for now. We tried to get some really good answers re difficult child 1's weird memory problems, and we STILL havwen't got a lot of info even though he's almost 25. Crazy, really. However, the best answers we have got for him, came from a top-notch Speech pathologist. Ditto for difficult child 3. The SP analysed all the sub-tests and went into minute detail, even for areas where the boys scored within normal range. What she found was that if you look at WHERE the boys scored in the tests (on the low end of normal, or the extreme high end of normal) you got some apparently paradoxical results. When she analysed these a bit more, she was able to make some interesting conclusions; that is where we finally were told that difficult child 1's short-term memory is actually quite good, it is his attention and distractibility that is letting him down. Yoyomama, my interest in helping you and your son remains undiminished, even if he has clearly had Asperger's ruled out. There are enough sub-similarities (the Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), the anxiety, for example) where what we have been through may be of use to you. And that's pretty much how it works here - we toss ideas into the ring, we share what we've worked out for ourselves and sometimes things can be of use. And sometimes not. Since my previous post, husband & I went to the beach for a quick swim. While we were there, a neighbour whose son is more severely autistic turned up with her kids. Her autistic son is now talking in sentences, I noticed. However, he is not making a lot of sense. I went over to talk to her and we compared notes. IN a lot of ways, I can't tell her anything because her experiences are too different. However, I was able to pass on to her an idea she had never been told about, mainly because it was just one of those things I worked out for myself. It's something she got really excited about because it will be a fun project to do, as well as probably really lovely for her son to have (a pictorial diary of a really fun day they had yesterday; even as she was mentioning it, the boy was coming out with phrases describing his wonderful day, I could hear how happy it had made him). I'm not suggesting you do that - only saying, sometimes you can get about fifty incorrect or ineffective ideas, before a really good one comes along. And I might contribute most of those fifty, then someone else will read your responses and it will trigger something in them which produces the genius 51st. I don't care if it's my idea, your idea or someone else's that clicks for you - if anything clicks and leads you to finding something you can really make use of, it's a win for all of us! I guess because so many of us have been in the "It's bad parenting," or "He's just a naughty child" category, that we band together the way we do. One huge thing I've got form thissite, is the courage to make the changes we had to make, and then the courage to stick with those decisions. As time has gone on, we've seen such improvement, it has been wonderful. But that early stage where I took some big chances - I could have backed down and reversed tose decisions with my tail between my legs. I am so glad I didn't. I hope we can help, that some of the suggestions are ones you can use. If not, keep throwing in the problems you would have and we'll keep trying to find ways around it. Marg [/QUOTE]
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