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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 630984" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi Tree, and I am sorry. Your son sounds very much like my son in terms of his behavior. In terms of his interaction with you, we were at the same point months ago until I started putting much firmer boundaries in place. Doing that is going to help you a lot. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, I would sit down and write out a list of what you want your interactions to be with your son. What you will do. What you will not do. Keep it short---you don't have to spell every single thing out today. It could be something like this:</p><p></p><p>1. Please call me once a week at 5 p.m. on Thursdays. We'll talk for 10 minutes. If you call at any other time I will let the call go to voice mail. If you talk disrespectfully to me on the Thursday call, I will hang up. </p><p></p><p>2. I will buy you a bus ticket to ___ today. I will also buy you a bus pass once you get there. I will email you a list of the homeless shelters and programs available there. </p><p></p><p>3. I love you son. Your life is up to you. I will be glad to have a pleasant call with you once a week and I will always wish you the best and hope you find what you are looking for. I am not going to give you any more money at all. You're on your own. Good luck.</p><p></p><p>***** </p><p></p><p>Depending on what he does with this you can provide more boundaries to him. I have had to tell my son: do not come to my house without an invitation. If you do, I will call the police. I will get a restraining order against you.</p><p></p><p>That has stopped the 3 a.m. pounding on the door when he gets out of jail.</p><p></p><p>On suicide threats: I believe in taking every single threat seriously. And what I mean by that is this: I will either drive directly to where he is after he threatens suicide OR I will call the police and tell them where he is. Threatening suicide and committing suicide is against the law (thankfully). I have told my son this: Every single time you threaten suicide I will call the police. That has really stopped/cut down on the threats. I don't believe my son has any intention of committing suicide. As my exhusband/his father said recently: He thinks too much of himself to do that. However, I will always take it seriously. </p><p></p><p>Warm hugs and welcome. Keep reading the site, and start working on YOU. It's time for your life. Your son will have to make his own way in the world. Sad but true.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 630984, member: 17542"] Hi Tree, and I am sorry. Your son sounds very much like my son in terms of his behavior. In terms of his interaction with you, we were at the same point months ago until I started putting much firmer boundaries in place. Doing that is going to help you a lot. Yes, I would sit down and write out a list of what you want your interactions to be with your son. What you will do. What you will not do. Keep it short---you don't have to spell every single thing out today. It could be something like this: 1. Please call me once a week at 5 p.m. on Thursdays. We'll talk for 10 minutes. If you call at any other time I will let the call go to voice mail. If you talk disrespectfully to me on the Thursday call, I will hang up. 2. I will buy you a bus ticket to ___ today. I will also buy you a bus pass once you get there. I will email you a list of the homeless shelters and programs available there. 3. I love you son. Your life is up to you. I will be glad to have a pleasant call with you once a week and I will always wish you the best and hope you find what you are looking for. I am not going to give you any more money at all. You're on your own. Good luck. ***** Depending on what he does with this you can provide more boundaries to him. I have had to tell my son: do not come to my house without an invitation. If you do, I will call the police. I will get a restraining order against you. That has stopped the 3 a.m. pounding on the door when he gets out of jail. On suicide threats: I believe in taking every single threat seriously. And what I mean by that is this: I will either drive directly to where he is after he threatens suicide OR I will call the police and tell them where he is. Threatening suicide and committing suicide is against the law (thankfully). I have told my son this: Every single time you threaten suicide I will call the police. That has really stopped/cut down on the threats. I don't believe my son has any intention of committing suicide. As my exhusband/his father said recently: He thinks too much of himself to do that. However, I will always take it seriously. Warm hugs and welcome. Keep reading the site, and start working on YOU. It's time for your life. Your son will have to make his own way in the world. Sad but true. [/QUOTE]
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