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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 357891" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm assuming he's bright. Often these kids are brighter than they're given credit. Also as a teen, he will be trending towards a reverse of the day-night pattern. I think it's a teen thing very much.</p><p></p><p>So I think you need to sit him down and give him a lesson in melatonin and light exposure to the brain. We're working on this with difficult child 3 now.</p><p></p><p>First by having the talk, it is a way to get him 'on board' and involved in functioning better. If he understands why his body is doing this, he is more likely to work with you rather than against you. After all, it's not you who is the problem. It's his teen hormones plus his light exposure pattern. Here is some Wikipedia info on melatonin.</p><p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melatonin" target="_blank">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melatonin</a></p><p></p><p>What we are also doing, is a reward system we set up ages ago, but adapting it now to difficult child 3's bedtime. Again, we discussed it and worked out compromises. Even if you think you've compromised too much, give it a go and revisit the topic. if it isn't working, and you can easily demonstrate this to him, he may be more prepared to say, "OK, let's change this a bit more your way."</p><p></p><p>Our reward system - for compliance (in whatever we have agreed ton, to the degree we have agreed) difficult child 3 earns 15 minutes of my time, spent playing a computer game with him. We tend to play Mario Party (because I can stand that one!). It is important to not let owed time accumulate too much or he loses the reward effect and the positive reinforcement fails. it is also good to have the reward non-material. My time spent with him on computer gaming is something he absolutely loves, because he gets to share what he loves socially.</p><p></p><p>He used to earn 15 minutes for every day he was meltdown-free. Then we managed well indefinitely and we let that one slide. Now the reward is for being in bed on time. He is allowed to read a book, but he has to have all electronic screens off by a certain time. That time is currently being negotiated.</p><p>The reason for tis - when a kid plays a computer game or watches TV, they are exposing their brain to light. This affects their melatonin and their day-night cycle. Even reading a book with a bedlamp on is greatly preferable, because the reflected light off the page is not the same as staring into a light source such as a game screen.</p><p></p><p>Also important information - lack of sleep can undermine medications, especially ADHD medications. He needs to understand this, too. Although in our family, the kids never seem to be aware of their medications affecting them well or not, they have to accept by other people's responses to them, if it's working. and they always have the attitude of, "If I haven't had a lot of sleep, everyone else is mean to me."</p><p>It has taken a lot of continued reinforcement to convince them that it's not everybody else being mean, it's THEM being grumpy and difficult to get on with.</p><p></p><p>Our current target - difficult child 3 earns 15 minutes of my time if he's in bed by 11.30 pm. I help by reminding him of the time, but I don't nag unless he's up after 1 am. Because if he's not sleeping, I am not sleeping and I need my sleep. If difficult child 3 is up after 11.30 pm but still in bed before midnight, he earns 5 minutes.</p><p></p><p>Now to the flip side - next morning. Even on weekends, difficult child 3 is not allowed to sleep in. I get him up at 8.30 pm at the latest. We have discussed the best time to get up and ready to begin schoolwork at 9 am. I think we need to change the time and will be discussing this with him via the therapist tomorrow. But no sleeping in means he will be more likely to go to bed at a better time that night, due to the accrued lack of sleep.</p><p></p><p>Risperdal tends to sedate, we found we had to stop giving it to difficult child 1 in the mornings because he would just go back to bed and sleep. If risperdal is sedating your son, dose him earlier at night, talk to the doctor about increasing the night-time dose and reducing any morning dose. Or you could discuss trialling melatonin, see if it can help. it doesn't always work because the computer gaming can over-ride te pills.</p><p></p><p>We don't restrict the amount of gaming, but we do try to restrict the times when games may be played. We need to restrict gaming late in the evening. And of course not during school hours.</p><p></p><p>You need to involve your son in his own management. But if you need reinforcements, get therapist or psychiatrist on side to help explain to him why he needs to be working towards better health choices.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 357891, member: 1991"] I'm assuming he's bright. Often these kids are brighter than they're given credit. Also as a teen, he will be trending towards a reverse of the day-night pattern. I think it's a teen thing very much. So I think you need to sit him down and give him a lesson in melatonin and light exposure to the brain. We're working on this with difficult child 3 now. First by having the talk, it is a way to get him 'on board' and involved in functioning better. If he understands why his body is doing this, he is more likely to work with you rather than against you. After all, it's not you who is the problem. It's his teen hormones plus his light exposure pattern. Here is some Wikipedia info on melatonin. [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melatonin[/url] What we are also doing, is a reward system we set up ages ago, but adapting it now to difficult child 3's bedtime. Again, we discussed it and worked out compromises. Even if you think you've compromised too much, give it a go and revisit the topic. if it isn't working, and you can easily demonstrate this to him, he may be more prepared to say, "OK, let's change this a bit more your way." Our reward system - for compliance (in whatever we have agreed ton, to the degree we have agreed) difficult child 3 earns 15 minutes of my time, spent playing a computer game with him. We tend to play Mario Party (because I can stand that one!). It is important to not let owed time accumulate too much or he loses the reward effect and the positive reinforcement fails. it is also good to have the reward non-material. My time spent with him on computer gaming is something he absolutely loves, because he gets to share what he loves socially. He used to earn 15 minutes for every day he was meltdown-free. Then we managed well indefinitely and we let that one slide. Now the reward is for being in bed on time. He is allowed to read a book, but he has to have all electronic screens off by a certain time. That time is currently being negotiated. The reason for tis - when a kid plays a computer game or watches TV, they are exposing their brain to light. This affects their melatonin and their day-night cycle. Even reading a book with a bedlamp on is greatly preferable, because the reflected light off the page is not the same as staring into a light source such as a game screen. Also important information - lack of sleep can undermine medications, especially ADHD medications. He needs to understand this, too. Although in our family, the kids never seem to be aware of their medications affecting them well or not, they have to accept by other people's responses to them, if it's working. and they always have the attitude of, "If I haven't had a lot of sleep, everyone else is mean to me." It has taken a lot of continued reinforcement to convince them that it's not everybody else being mean, it's THEM being grumpy and difficult to get on with. Our current target - difficult child 3 earns 15 minutes of my time if he's in bed by 11.30 pm. I help by reminding him of the time, but I don't nag unless he's up after 1 am. Because if he's not sleeping, I am not sleeping and I need my sleep. If difficult child 3 is up after 11.30 pm but still in bed before midnight, he earns 5 minutes. Now to the flip side - next morning. Even on weekends, difficult child 3 is not allowed to sleep in. I get him up at 8.30 pm at the latest. We have discussed the best time to get up and ready to begin schoolwork at 9 am. I think we need to change the time and will be discussing this with him via the therapist tomorrow. But no sleeping in means he will be more likely to go to bed at a better time that night, due to the accrued lack of sleep. Risperdal tends to sedate, we found we had to stop giving it to difficult child 1 in the mornings because he would just go back to bed and sleep. If risperdal is sedating your son, dose him earlier at night, talk to the doctor about increasing the night-time dose and reducing any morning dose. Or you could discuss trialling melatonin, see if it can help. it doesn't always work because the computer gaming can over-ride te pills. We don't restrict the amount of gaming, but we do try to restrict the times when games may be played. We need to restrict gaming late in the evening. And of course not during school hours. You need to involve your son in his own management. But if you need reinforcements, get therapist or psychiatrist on side to help explain to him why he needs to be working towards better health choices. Marg [/QUOTE]
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