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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 409175" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Welcome. I've been there done that too. I really worry about my grandchildren, too.. it's a very helpless feeling. Although they and my Youngest are staying with me temporarily, I worry about their future once she's back out "on her own" in a few months. I would agree with the idea to contact CPS wherever she is, if you are concerned about outright neglect and abuse. </p><p></p><p>I also wanted to say that I know what it's like to have a difficult child who's involved with an abusive man. The father of Youngest's first baby was extremely abusive, and I used to be convinced he'd kill her one day if she didn't leave him. I've never felt so helpless in my life. The more I tried to convince her to leave him, the more she'd stick with him. The police were called several times, she wouldn't press charges, and they couldn't do anything with no physical evidence of abuse. They began to get frustrated themselves. I couldn't do a single thing to help her. What I learned was that it's more important to offer suport and encouragement, than to be another person telling her how bad her choices are... since that's what her boyfriend was doing to her. Me telling her she was a fool to stay with him, only solidified the self-esteem killing abuse he was heaping onto her. It's very, very difficult, however, NOT to say anything. At this point, I honestly can't even remember what it took for her to finally break up with him for good ... it was a combination of other friends, working for herself and her child, and just plain fear and disgust finally catching up with her. Of course, now she's involved with a man who abuses her in a different way.. by cheating on her, leaving her without emotional or physical support while he does what he wants, and convincing her to stay with him anyway. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there.. I think you're on the right track.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 409175, member: 1157"] Welcome. I've been there done that too. I really worry about my grandchildren, too.. it's a very helpless feeling. Although they and my Youngest are staying with me temporarily, I worry about their future once she's back out "on her own" in a few months. I would agree with the idea to contact CPS wherever she is, if you are concerned about outright neglect and abuse. I also wanted to say that I know what it's like to have a difficult child who's involved with an abusive man. The father of Youngest's first baby was extremely abusive, and I used to be convinced he'd kill her one day if she didn't leave him. I've never felt so helpless in my life. The more I tried to convince her to leave him, the more she'd stick with him. The police were called several times, she wouldn't press charges, and they couldn't do anything with no physical evidence of abuse. They began to get frustrated themselves. I couldn't do a single thing to help her. What I learned was that it's more important to offer suport and encouragement, than to be another person telling her how bad her choices are... since that's what her boyfriend was doing to her. Me telling her she was a fool to stay with him, only solidified the self-esteem killing abuse he was heaping onto her. It's very, very difficult, however, NOT to say anything. At this point, I honestly can't even remember what it took for her to finally break up with him for good ... it was a combination of other friends, working for herself and her child, and just plain fear and disgust finally catching up with her. Of course, now she's involved with a man who abuses her in a different way.. by cheating on her, leaving her without emotional or physical support while he does what he wants, and convincing her to stay with him anyway. Hang in there.. I think you're on the right track. [/QUOTE]
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