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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 609580" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Wow. You have your hands full. I am just starting to read about parent abuse, but he is kind of young to be accused of that. Did he have a very chaotic first three years with many caregivers and changes? Such crazy inconsistency in the very early years can cause something called attachment disorder. It is very hard to treat and requires a specialaist who understands it. Otherwise,yes, it will be misdiagnosed as everything from ADHD to bipolar to Aspergers, but these kids tend to be more violent...and many pee in inappropriate places, hurt animals, and are fascinated with fire. The first three years are forever printed on their brains. That needs to be changed...the blueprint in their minds and traditional parenting and/or therapy doesn't work. I wouldn't blame bio. mom completely. If bio. dad was a part of child's chaos, he also would be a part of t he blame, however finger pointing d oesn't help. Here is a link to attachment disorder.</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.strugglingteens.com/archives/2000/6/oe03.html" target="_blank">http://www.strugglingteens.com/archives/2000/6/oe03.html</a></p><p></p><p>Another issue I am just learning about, due to my own circumstances, is Parent Abuse by a child. Your stepchlid is young, but he is on his way to becoming a parent abuser if you let him. Regardless of his diagnosis, I am convinced that no parent deserves to be abused. Here is a link to Parent Abuse. It is not spoken of much because...well...parents abuse kids, not the other way around, right? Sometimes both is the case. Here is the link.</p><p></p><p><a href="http://loupurplefairy.hubpages.com/hub/The-Silent-Suffering-of-Parent-Abuse-When-Children-Abuse-Parents" target="_blank">http://loupurplefairy.hubpages.com/hub/The-Silent-Suffering-of-Parent-Abuse-When-Children-Abuse-Parents</a></p><p></p><p>I am starting to see that my son has started abusing his parents (us) and other people, including school mates, at a very young age and all the therapy we took him to didn't help him. In his case, he did not suffer anything that would have severed his attachment to us. He was just always a mean kid. I do think that at younger ages we have to try to avoid this from happening by getting the child all the help that we can. In our case it did not work. In many cases, it can. </p><p></p><p>If you have other kids especially it very well could be a good idea not to have this child visit you at home. Maybe your husband can see him in a neutral place every other Sat. or Sun. The kids tend to be nicer when they are out of the house. If they aren't, at least you have witnesses who can see that you did not abuse the child, but that he initiated it. If he has attachment problems, often these kids cry false abuse charges. </p><p></p><p>Conduct Disorder and Attachment Disorder's symptoms and behaviors are virtually identical. I am going to post one last link...a book about children who have insecure attachment, which, by the way, he may not have. But due to his history of divorce, I'll bet he has some form of insecure attachment and these kids do not care about others. It is sad because they had bad infancy-three years and it wasn't their faults, but the chaos and harm these kids can cause, especially to animals and other people, is still just as dangerous as ever. We lived with an attachment disordered child whom we adopted at eleven. He sexually acted out (not just molested) our two young children and killed our animals. I am not saying your stepchild has gone that far. I am just saying.....maybe he's better off seeing your hub away from home...and also watch out!!! Here's the link to the book. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) means reactive attachment disorder, however attachment is on a spectrum. He may have some of it but not all of it. It still causes dangerous behavior.</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/When-Love-Not-Enough-Parenting/dp/0970352549/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1381836255&sr=1-5&keywords=attachment+disorder" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/When-Love-Not-Enough-Parenting/dp/0970352549/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1381836255&sr=1-5&keywords=attachment+disorder</a></p><p></p><p>I wish you luck with this child. You may want to take him to a neuropsychologist to see what other issues accompany a possible attachment disorder diagnosis., which I don't know if he has. If he has ever been abused or might have been abused or is a child who is very sexual in his talk and behavior, keep him far away from your other kids!!!!</p><p></p><p>Hugs and take care of yourself!!!! Do what is best for your family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 609580, member: 1550"] Wow. You have your hands full. I am just starting to read about parent abuse, but he is kind of young to be accused of that. Did he have a very chaotic first three years with many caregivers and changes? Such crazy inconsistency in the very early years can cause something called attachment disorder. It is very hard to treat and requires a specialaist who understands it. Otherwise,yes, it will be misdiagnosed as everything from ADHD to bipolar to Aspergers, but these kids tend to be more violent...and many pee in inappropriate places, hurt animals, and are fascinated with fire. The first three years are forever printed on their brains. That needs to be changed...the blueprint in their minds and traditional parenting and/or therapy doesn't work. I wouldn't blame bio. mom completely. If bio. dad was a part of child's chaos, he also would be a part of t he blame, however finger pointing d oesn't help. Here is a link to attachment disorder. [url]http://www.strugglingteens.com/archives/2000/6/oe03.html[/url] Another issue I am just learning about, due to my own circumstances, is Parent Abuse by a child. Your stepchlid is young, but he is on his way to becoming a parent abuser if you let him. Regardless of his diagnosis, I am convinced that no parent deserves to be abused. Here is a link to Parent Abuse. It is not spoken of much because...well...parents abuse kids, not the other way around, right? Sometimes both is the case. Here is the link. [url]http://loupurplefairy.hubpages.com/hub/The-Silent-Suffering-of-Parent-Abuse-When-Children-Abuse-Parents[/url] I am starting to see that my son has started abusing his parents (us) and other people, including school mates, at a very young age and all the therapy we took him to didn't help him. In his case, he did not suffer anything that would have severed his attachment to us. He was just always a mean kid. I do think that at younger ages we have to try to avoid this from happening by getting the child all the help that we can. In our case it did not work. In many cases, it can. If you have other kids especially it very well could be a good idea not to have this child visit you at home. Maybe your husband can see him in a neutral place every other Sat. or Sun. The kids tend to be nicer when they are out of the house. If they aren't, at least you have witnesses who can see that you did not abuse the child, but that he initiated it. If he has attachment problems, often these kids cry false abuse charges. Conduct Disorder and Attachment Disorder's symptoms and behaviors are virtually identical. I am going to post one last link...a book about children who have insecure attachment, which, by the way, he may not have. But due to his history of divorce, I'll bet he has some form of insecure attachment and these kids do not care about others. It is sad because they had bad infancy-three years and it wasn't their faults, but the chaos and harm these kids can cause, especially to animals and other people, is still just as dangerous as ever. We lived with an attachment disordered child whom we adopted at eleven. He sexually acted out (not just molested) our two young children and killed our animals. I am not saying your stepchild has gone that far. I am just saying.....maybe he's better off seeing your hub away from home...and also watch out!!! Here's the link to the book. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) means reactive attachment disorder, however attachment is on a spectrum. He may have some of it but not all of it. It still causes dangerous behavior. [url]http://www.amazon.com/When-Love-Not-Enough-Parenting/dp/0970352549/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1381836255&sr=1-5&keywords=attachment+disorder[/url] I wish you luck with this child. You may want to take him to a neuropsychologist to see what other issues accompany a possible attachment disorder diagnosis., which I don't know if he has. If he has ever been abused or might have been abused or is a child who is very sexual in his talk and behavior, keep him far away from your other kids!!!! Hugs and take care of yourself!!!! Do what is best for your family. [/QUOTE]
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