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Substance Abuse
New Here and needing something..not sure what
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 398075" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>Welcome... And LOTS of gentle hugs.</p><p> </p><p>I, too, have a 15-y/o. Onyxx has been in juvie for assault and failing a drug test, on cold medications, drinking, smoking... Domestic violence and drug theft arrests... My story, too, is very, very long. I found this place simply because as a stepmom, I had no way to get a handle on what was happening to me, to my husband, and to my stepson... And most of all, what was going on in Onyxx's head!</p><p> </p><p>My question, too, is about the grandparents. Honestly, if he is in the same school, with the same people, things will just continue... And he will, as DDD said, end the honeymoon period in a hurry. FWIW, my parents could not believe anything I said about Onyxx's behavior. After needing their help to be there after school for the kids, for therapy reasons as well as the fact that ***I*** could not leave her alone, they finally started to see what I was dealing with. Not in its entirety. But enough so that they no longer blamed husband for bad parenting.</p><p> </p><p>I've been told by many people that I should do something different, because obviously it is <strong><em>my</em></strong> fault Onyxx began acting out when she did. And that <strong><em>I</em></strong> am the one causing the situations. I've come to understand that I am doing everything I can - I'm not perfect - and it's <strong><em>not my fault</em></strong>. I still wonder - what if I did <em>this</em> differently.</p><p> </p><p>Keep up with the therapy. I can tell you - from what I've seen in just the last few months - there <em>is</em> light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes, you do all you can, and it just doesn't work... Sometimes, there's a breakthrough. But in the meantime - take care of yourself. That light I mentioned? Might be a turnaround in his behavior, might be detachment on your part.</p><p> </p><p>Keep posting here - my situation has changed dramatically since I found this place almost 2 years ago, but things crop up. And you never know what you might find that might help you - your husband - or your other kids.</p><p> </p><p>More hugs!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 398075, member: 6705"] Welcome... And LOTS of gentle hugs. I, too, have a 15-y/o. Onyxx has been in juvie for assault and failing a drug test, on cold medications, drinking, smoking... Domestic violence and drug theft arrests... My story, too, is very, very long. I found this place simply because as a stepmom, I had no way to get a handle on what was happening to me, to my husband, and to my stepson... And most of all, what was going on in Onyxx's head! My question, too, is about the grandparents. Honestly, if he is in the same school, with the same people, things will just continue... And he will, as DDD said, end the honeymoon period in a hurry. FWIW, my parents could not believe anything I said about Onyxx's behavior. After needing their help to be there after school for the kids, for therapy reasons as well as the fact that ***I*** could not leave her alone, they finally started to see what I was dealing with. Not in its entirety. But enough so that they no longer blamed husband for bad parenting. I've been told by many people that I should do something different, because obviously it is [B][I]my[/I][/B] fault Onyxx began acting out when she did. And that [B][I]I[/I][/B] am the one causing the situations. I've come to understand that I am doing everything I can - I'm not perfect - and it's [B][I]not my fault[/I][/B]. I still wonder - what if I did [I]this[/I] differently. Keep up with the therapy. I can tell you - from what I've seen in just the last few months - there [I]is[/I] light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes, you do all you can, and it just doesn't work... Sometimes, there's a breakthrough. But in the meantime - take care of yourself. That light I mentioned? Might be a turnaround in his behavior, might be detachment on your part. Keep posting here - my situation has changed dramatically since I found this place almost 2 years ago, but things crop up. And you never know what you might find that might help you - your husband - or your other kids. More hugs!!! [/QUOTE]
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